Stand By You (Troyler AU)

Why Not Pt. 1

A/N: listen idk 

The second his laptop closed the louder cries fell from Troye's mouth. His vision was blurry and his throat was dry from trying to keep himself together. He hated how addicting Tyler had become. He hated how Tyler was like white noise in his mind that never calmed down.

He could't help thinking about how much easier it would be to not be living at all. Then he wouldn't have to worry about his family or his feelings for Tyler. He wouldn't have to worry about being attached because he wouldn't be there at all. Breathing was hard and love is just a shout into the void.

Love is just calling into the inevitable blackness, he couldn't help but want to disappear into that blackness. He didn't want to wake up anymore because it was too hard to walk through days, and now walking through days without Tyler made life seem even worse. Troye felt like a failure. It took him 8 months to learn to survive on his own and then, over the course of a week, 5 months ago he gave it up to lean on Tyler. He didn't even know when it happened but it did and now he felt like he needed Tyler to breath. Troye sat up hugging his knees trying to calm down, two panic attacks in one day- that hadn't happened in...5 months.

Troye felt numb, he didn't feel happy or sad or anything. Just numb. This was not new for him, but it had been a long time since he felt it this strongly. He closed his eyes, fresh tears pushed from his eyes again. He forgot why he was crying exactly but it felt good to cry. Crying meant that he was feeling something...even if he didn't know what.

Troye's body shook with another sob, he didn't want to feel numb he wanted the warmth that Tyler brought. Troye never knew loving could hurt like this. Tyler was driving him crazy but was the eye in the storm at the same time. Their hold relationship was a mess, they as individuals were a mess.

Troye was falling apart and when he met Tyler, Tyler's broken pieces filled in Troye's broken places. They were two separate disasters that came together as one whole work of art. Sadly that art was still ripped and torn but it was still beautiful. Art is risk, and Troye risked it all on Tyler.

——

Tyler called again, but the Skype call went straight to voice mail. Tyler was pacing around his bedroom, the meal he ate was bubbling in his stomach as he made himself more and more nervous. He knew that Troye wasn't mad at him directly, there had to be something wrong. Something that Tyler wasn't seeing.

He called again, voicemail.

Tyler was growing increasingly more nauseous as time passed. Troye wasn't answering still, there must have been something wrong. Troye doesn't ignore him for no reason. When they got into arguments they were rarely harsh, they consisted of death scares and the silent treatment, but the silence never lasted long, usually they made each other laugh. But Tyler couldn't do that, because Troye wasn't answering the damn phone. Tyler called again, nothing.

It had been two hours since Troye hung up on him, everyone in his house was asleep now and Tyler was alone. He grabbed his blanket from his bed and wrapped it around his shoulders walking down into the living room. He slumped onto the couch and called again, this time sending a text message also.

Tyler groaned the pulled his blanket over his head. He laid there with his mind running, letting his thoughts go wild, he was really worried about Troye not answering him. Tyler knew that Troye never slept through the night so even if he had fallen asleep he would have woken up at least once by now. He pulled the blanket off his face to call again.

"Ty"

Tyler jumped, it was 2am and he didn't expect anyone else to be awake so Allexys' voice startled him

"Lex, whats wrong why are you awake" Tyler said, his heart still racing as he sat up into the bend of the couch. Allexys sat beside him in her Frozen pajamas with her legs crossed. Tyler grabbed the bottom of his blanket and laid it over her legs.

"I heard you walking down the stairs and so I got up too" Allexys said

Tyler looked at his lap and then at her "You should be sleeping" Tyler said

"So should you" Allexys said plainly, suddenly she furrowed her eyebrows "Where's that necklace?" she asked

"What?" Tyler asked confused by her sudden question

"The little silver one with the little wing on it that you always wear" Allexys said

Tyler raised his hand to his neck, realizing that he wasn't wearing it. First he panicked, worried that he lost it or the chain broke, but then he remembered. Troye had it. "Oh..uh...Troye has it right now" Tyler said

"Why? Did you leave it at his house" Allexys asked

"No...he's wearing it" Tyler said shortly, looking down at his phone to send Troye another text message

Allexys furrowed her eyebrows again "Why is he wearing your necklace?" she asked

"Well its not really mine, we like, share it. Sometimes I wear it sometimes he does" Tyler explained and Allexys nodded her head "Where is he now?" she asked

"Boy, you're full of questions for 2 o'clock in the morning. He's at his apartment" Tyler said

"Why?"

"What of you mean why? because he lives there" Tyler said, his voice filled with sass, it was too early for an 20 question investigation from his younger sister.

Allexys yawned and leaned against Tyler's side, normally Tyler would have shrugged her off but he let her rest there "Why aren't you with him thought" She asked yawning again

"Geeze-o-petes Lex I don't know, we just aren't" Tyler said

"but whyyyy" she whined out nuzzling into Tyler shoulder

"Lex we aren't always together" Tyler said shortly

Allexys let out a curt laugh "okay sure" she said sarcastically "I may be 11 but I'm not blind, you two are always together"

"Oh my god you're annoying" Tyler said smiling. Allexys laughed "so are you"

Tyler sighed, was he really going to ask an 11 year old for advice? He didn't really have any other options...

"what would you do if you got in a fight with one of your friends and they were ignoring your phone calls?" Tyler asked

Allexys smiled "I would go see them" she said

"Yeah but its 2 am and I can't go see him" Tyler said

Allexys turned and faced him "Why not?"

~To be continued~