There are oh so many things I cannot do,
all because of you.
You have taken away years of my life--
there's so much I cannot recall.
Your addictive poison ruined my mind--
made it rot with the urge to die.
I cannot love myself as my lover does.
Do you get off on this?
Does it please you?
Congratulations,
I hate myself.
(You have won)
Is that what you want?
I neglect sleep and refuse to eat--
my lover worries for me.
(I hate it)
Are you satisfied now?
No, because your appetite for misery is never ending--
it is a bottomless pit.
I know this, yet I cannot control you;
you are my puppeteer,
and I am at your mercy.
I cannot explain how you torture me for fear of sounding insane,
yet I long to feel better and be rid of you.
But you will always be there, won't you?
I suppose my fear of living without you--
how ironic indeed--
is why you cannot leave.
Because we need each other--
is that right?
At least, that is what you want me to think.
No, I do not want you,
but I am uncertain how to live without you.
Who am I without you,
you who have been with me for so long?
Because of this fear, I have put off getting help--
refuse to speak.
But now,
now I am stronger--
though there are still days when I am weak--
you will not always win.
This battle of ours is never-ending.
So until the end of my days,
we will dance hand in hand.
Dear Depression, are you satisfied now?
~ ~ ~
Author's Note: If you were to write a letter/poem to your mental illness, what would it say? Leave me a comment and let me know!
YOU ARE READING
Monsters Inside My Head
PoetryWARNING: Some pieces may contain triggers for those who struggle with any form of depression or self harm. Please read with caution. I will often rearrange the chapters in the way I see fit, so please be patient and keep that in mind. This is my fir...
