How much hurt you've caused me,
countless tears I've cried.
So many nights I laid in my bed, tears streaming down my face--
yes, all because of you.
And yet, dare I speak of it--
of what you've done--
you get angry.
But not out of your guilt--
oh no--
your anger stems from annoyance.
How dare I continue to bring this up
how dare I remind you of mistakes you've yet to apologize for
how dare I still be hurt--I should be over it, right?--
how dare I dwell on something that has impacted me so deeply
how dare I feel apathetic towards you when you've done so much for me
(that changes nothing)
how dare I.
And yet,
you're allowed to hold something I said years ago against me?
I'm still supposed to love you as if nothing happened?
I should simply forgive you just because of your relation to me?
It's ok for you to continue to hurt me, but I cannot speak out against it?
If only we were not father and daughter!
I cannot say anything in defense of myself
because that's talking back--
so disrespectful, right?
I feel guilty because I hurt,
for not being able to move on,
for daring to speak out against you.
This should not be so!
My emotions are completely valid--
a lesson I only recently learned--
how I wish I knew this sooner.
YOU ARE READING
Monsters Inside My Head
PoetryWARNING: Some pieces may contain triggers for those who struggle with any form of depression or self harm. Please read with caution. I will often rearrange the chapters in the way I see fit, so please be patient and keep that in mind. This is my fir...
