Monsters Inside My Head

Don't Touch Me - Always Alone

I don't need anyone to console me

I can do it myself--

I had to learn how the hard way,

because I've always been alone.

This comforting touch, though sweet in nature,

it makes me uncomfortable;

please don't touch me.

I am unfamiliar with physical consoling, you see,

for I've always had to be my own lullaby,

my own comforter.

Though, yes, I often crave touch,

when I'm sad or upset,

please don't touch me lest I ask.

In the entirety of my life, I dealt with turmoil internally

whether it be late at night or during the day when no one was home--

I was always alone.

This is more familiar to me, you see,

for only a select few have seen my tears--

how I detest being so transparent.

I pray that you never see me cry, dear one,

because I'm stronger than that.

Please don't think I no longer love you because I don't wanna be touched--

nothing could be further from the truth--

I just handle pain better when alone.

Perhaps that's unhealthy--

I wouldn't know--

because that's all I've known, really.

My intention is not to hurt you, dear one, 

please understand this;

being completely transparent is nearly impossible for me--

for I was taught not to feel, remember?

But I promise you, dear one, that it will not always be this way

I just ask that you be patient,

and please, don't touch me.