Monsters Inside My Head

Forever Tired - My Curse

This tired I feel is no ordinary kind of tired.

It cannot be cured by sleep,

coffee,

or any other form of caffeine.

Try though I may,

I cannot escape it.

At the end of my day, as I lay in my warm bed,

I feel the weight of eternal exhaustion press down on my body,

making my limbs heavy and brain foggy.

I am emotionally numb--

completely drained of all feeling.

My thoughts are incoherent and often escape me,

the fog thickening.

But I cannot sleep.

Dare I close my eyes, I become so restless,

thinking a million thoughts at once.

And yet, there is no reason for this--

I slept many hours (perhaps too much),

and drank the blackest of coffee.

Why, then, am I so exhausted?

Yes, I am very much awake,

but I'm not really present,

not in my mind.

All of my energy is devoted to harnessing my thoughts,

desperately trying to focus.

Perhaps that is what exhausts me so.

I really don't know.

Is this my destiny?

Am I doomed to live my life tired and drained of all energy?

I pray to whatever gods will listen:

please lift this curse from me--

what did I do to deserve it?

Are you, perhaps, angry at me?

I beg your forgiveness, if that is the case,

I just ask that you consider healing me.

Is the curse too powerful, even for deities such as yourselves?

Or, maybe, do you get sick pleasure from my torture?

Though I abandoned religion long ago,

I am willing to return to those who can rid me of this torment.

I dare dream it to be possible.

Is there anyone who can grant me genuine rest?