How is it that I feel the same way I did years ago?
Somehow I cannot get past this--
why?
I don't want to feel this way, to continue to hurt so.
I just don't know how else to handle pain,
except to bottle it up, forget about it, then explode later.
You say this isn't healthy,
and I don't disagree,
but what else am I supposed to do?
Dare I express my anger, my hurt, you say I should put it behind me,
think of the good instead.
That changes nothing!
That doesn't validate my feelings at all!
What does reminiscing about a few happy times do to the bad ones?
What do I gain from "remembering the good times"?
Tell me, does that changes what's been done?
Does it absolve anyone from guilt?
Why can't I now express my pain, my grief? (I only just learned how)
Why do you get frustrated with me?
Now I'm weighed down with guilt for feeling this way.
This is why I cannot move on,
this is why it has taken me so long to deal with it,
this is why I cannot easily forgive, cannot easily love.
So, no, I will not just "get over it"
YOU ARE READING
Monsters Inside My Head
PoetryWARNING: Some pieces may contain triggers for those who struggle with any form of depression or self harm. Please read with caution. I will often rearrange the chapters in the way I see fit, so please be patient and keep that in mind. This is my fir...
