Monsters Inside My Head

Hurt Too Much - Can't Forgive You

Though I understand your good will,

your (sometimes) kind intentions,

your "love" for me (is that what you call it?),

I simply cannot forgive you--

I've been hurt too much.

You think this unfair,

you think this not right,

you think I'm selfish.

You know what?

That's totally fine.

I don't give a shit what you think.

And honestly, I owe you nothing--

I know you disagree, but I really don't care.

You do not get a pass simply because you are my father.

You really think I care if I hurt your feelings? (I thought you had none)

I don't--

I really and truly don't.

You shouldn't have done what you did--

besides, there are so many times that you have hurt me.

Do I not, then, have the right to hurt you?

Perhaps not, if I were religious or devoutly virtuous--

but I am neither religious nor virtuous--

far from it, actually.

I do not know what I believe, you see.

I suppose I am more like a "heathen" in your eyes--

how dare I not claim the same religion that you do. 

(You shoved God down my throat my entire life)

Christianity has become oh so cliche, 

so routine, 

so close-minded.

And honestly I just don't believe--

don't think I ever did.

 No, I do not claim your religion (or views) as mine.  

So how can you, father, claim to be so and still do the things you do?

You're such a hypocrite!

Why are you so unwilling to change?

You sad, stubborn fool.

Why do you continue to hurt me?

What have I ever done to you?

You do not deserve the title "father"--

no, not at all--

all the good you've done doesn't change shit.

I will not apologize.

You, father, will not get anything from me.

I'm too hurt to forgive you.