Enough... (Completed)

Ch. 22 (Beyoncé)

5 months later.

Houston, TX.

It's been a while since I've seen Shawn but I'm currently six and a half months pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. I hadn't told Shawn the sex of the baby yet because I just found out a day or two ago and he has yet to call me. Usually after every appointment he calls and asks how it went, but he hadn't this time. I shrugged it off, I expected this from him by now.

The past couple of months have been peaceful, as I suspected. Majority of my time has been dedicated to my online classes. The only good news is that my mother got proposed to at her birthday dinner, it was so beautiful. She was crying, I'm glad she's happy again. Everyone deserves to be happy.

I threw my legs to meet the side of the bed, suspending me from my previous daydream. That's all I've been doing lately, barely getting sleep but daydreaming. Knowingly, the causes of this daydreaming phase was as clear as day, but my stubborn persona would never let him know what this departure is doing to me.  It was the break of dawn, of course I had been the only one awake. My mind wandered off into space as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Can we talk?" I asked him as he sat in front of me in his dilapidated apartment. Being that he was older, he was already out of the house at eighteen—he was nineteen now, and I was still seventeen.

"About what, Beyoncé?" he said in that dirty groggy voice.

"I just need some answers, Lyndall."
My eyes darted towards the nearest wall, I couldn't look him in the eyes nor could I say his name without my throat nearly closing. His piercing eyes nearly burned a hole in my forehead and I could feel his gaze on me which made me twitch. After all these months of us not being together, not seeing each other, me not thinking of him; he still had the same effect on me. I hated it, I hated how I could be genuinely happy but when my thoughts wandered off to my past and him I instantly shut everyone out and became a shell. I had an optimistic effect on people, so if I were to be sad then everyone else in the room would be also.

"So you got some questions for me baby?" he asked. I cringed and then nodded.

"Shoot," he said.

"I-I just need to know, what drove you to do those things?" I said now looking into his eyes and by the end of my sentence my eyes met his lids, his head hang low in disappointment. Like he was disappointed in himself as much as I was, I loved him and he loved me, but he took things too far. There was no clear explanation for his wrongdoings, none. I had met his parents, they were a beautiful couple, and Lyndall was the spitting image of his father but he had the personality of his older cousin who clearly didn't give a fuck about anyone but himself. Just like his cousin, Lyndall didn't care for anyone but himself. He wanted to get his way in every scenario and he didn't care whom he hurt in the process.

"I don't know, I'm going to be brutally honest right now, I don't know why I did those things to you. I wish I hadn't but it happened and I can't change what I did, if I could then I would."

He grabbed my hand that was loosely hanging, I stiffened, him knowing my body painfully well he kissed my hand. I hadn't felt his lips in half of a year and at that moment my womanhood was throbbing and thirsting for something I couldn't provide for myself.

"I missed you Giselle," he said barely above a whisper. A tear had fallen from my eye as I looked down to find him caressing my hand. His hand then went to my waist, I cringed remembering not too long ago what he had left there. I looked up at him and his eyes met mine, they were filled with lust. He leaned in and fighting my urge and hormones I backed away, refusing to fall into his world of pity again.