Midnight Thoughts ✔

|18| Hurt

Hurt

☆☆☆

June 17, 2015 marks the day I've been told the most painful line I've ever heard in my entire life.

I recall the day I texted him, asking how he managed to ignore my existence after my confession toward him without feeling guilty for doing so.

I lay there on my bed in the dark, with my phone in my hand. It was around midnight, I could still remember.

I walked away cause I didn't even know you. So I won't like you the way you liked me. You kinda obsessed over me too so that made me wanna ignore you. I didn't feel guilty cause I didn't hurt you myself. I mean, I did nothing, didn't lie or anything. If you were hurt, you did that on your own. I'm sorry, I didn't give you any hope.

I chuckled at his response. Then I typed.

True that.

He replied.

I'm sorry.

I typed again.

So the best choice is to leave that person alone?

A few seconds later he replied.

Yeah, I guess.

I sighed involuntarily before typing again.

Okay, and don't be sorry. What's past is past anyway. It kinda looks funny to me now to think I dared to do that. At least I have something to laugh at when I'm old. I never confront you about this but let me say this one last time. Thanks for the friendship. Friends?

It didn't take long for him to reply.

Friends.

I could still remember that I spent the next few minutes crying my heart out.

Ever since that night, I've been haunted by his words.

If you were hurt, you did that on your own.

It's not like I asked to meet him. It's not like I asked to have feelings for him. It's not like I asked to be in love with him. It's not like we could choose whom we want to meet and whom we don't want to.

I never asked to fall in love with him. Hell, if I knew I was going to be miserable for having my first love giving me my very first yet the worst heartbreak ever, if I knew I was going to feel such a misery because of him, I might have not taken that path that led me to him. I might have had a chance to save my heart from breaking, to save myself from hurting, to keep myself from losing.

I might have just done so but who was I to ask?

If you were hurt, you did that on your own.

Ever since that night, I've been haunted by his words.

Maybe he's right all along. Loving him has hurt myself. Maybe it was my mistake. If I were hurt, I did that on my own.

In the end, he's always right.