The Story of Us // L.S

Twenty One.

Songs for this chapter are:

*If You Don't Know // 5 Seconds of Summer

*Hurricane // Room 94

*Talk // The 1975

*Love Will Set You Free // Kodaline

*

Louis turned to face me again since I hadn't answered his question. "Well?" He was pushing me for an answer and I imitated him by running my own tongue over my bottom lip, in thought. 

I didn't know what I was doing here. 

All I knew was that I wanted to see him one more time, on my terms. He couldn't run away from me then and I might get the goodbye that I deserved. I knew that whenever I was around him I actually felt alive, my heart beat in my chest and I didn't want to lose that feeling. And I knew that I wanted to absorb everything about him one last time. I wanted to remember his blue eyes with the flecks of green in and how they sat with all the other features of his face, like his round nose. I wanted to listen to his voice and see how his body moved as he spoke. 

"I don't know." Was the short and simple answer, and the one I gave. His eyes looked sad and he ran a hand down his face, pulling the skin with it and stretching his features. "Harry, you're going to be the death of me." I laughed, spluttering little pieces of spit across the table. "I'm going to be the death of you? Me?" He chuckled with me, seeing the irony of his words, and shook his head in small movements, letting his eyes rest on whatever was happening outside. 

"I really thought things were going to be okay after today you know?" His words cut through me and I felt bad that I'd deceived him like this.  I looked down to my hands and watched as they did a little dance together. "I'm sorry Lou. It's just not the right time to get to know her. I know she will come round eventually, just not yet." There was a pause as I waited for him to respond but when he didn't I carried on. "She's a lot like you in that sense. She's stubborn as hell but has a good heart underneath. I know that when she decides to give you a chance she will love you." 

"You think I have a good heart Haz? Even after all this time?" I looked up and was met with him facing me, properly, his blue eyes expressing an emotion I wasn't sure of. I continued to pick at one of my fingernails as I thought of the answer. 

"Yes. I think you've made a lot of mistakes but that doesn't make you a bad person." He started to smile, the crinkles appearing again at the edges of his eyes. I didn't want to make this awkward or too deep, I was done with deep stuff, so I changed the subject. "So, what have you been up to for the last 18 years?" 

"Are you interested in my boring life?" He asked and I nodded. "Of course I am, you know what I've been up to: raising a child, it had its ups and downs." He chuckled and looked round the room again before continuing. "Well, I lived in my friend's flat for a while. Like, a really long time, I think he got sick of me in the end and was close to booting me out. When I'd saved enough I bought my own place. I got a job as a producer for a radio station and I didn't realise it till it had happened, but it's my dream job. I met someone, and they moved in with me but that didn't work out." My heart stuttered and paused. He met someone? I was waiting for him to come home and he met someone? 

"What about you, did you meet anyone else?" I shook my head slowly. "No. I was a bit busy." There was an awkward pause which I decided to fill. "Did they know? About Isobel, about me?" The pause that followed was even longer and I watched as Louis' eyes flicked around the room, trying to look anywhere but at me. "They didn't did they?" He shook his head but stayed silent. I started to laugh and sat back in my seat, drumming my fingers on the armrest. 

"I don't believe this Louis. So your new and improved life didn't work out so you decided to come back and see what destruction you had left behind in your old life. I was waiting for you to come home every single damned day and you were off with someone else. Someone who didn't know you were a father. Did you even talk about me? Did you tell them about the first time you were in love?" 

He folded his arms over himself and squeezed himself tightly. "No." He said it quietly but I still heard it. 

I scoffed and stood up. "You are skating on thin thin ice Tomlinson. This was your chance to prove to me that you were worthy of meeting my daughter but I just don't know if you are. She deserves someone who is proud of her and shows her off. She deserves someone that sticks around." 

And with that I stormed out the café leaving Louis behind me.