PHASE 0: AUDITIONS

Applicant #6: Golds Do Rust

APPLICANT #6: GOLDS DO RUST

I used to have a colorful childhood. It was a memory full with bliss like a ray of a rainbow. A memory worth a pot of gold. But as time flies, golds do rust.

"Hi. I'm Pauline Parker. I am 16 years old. I'm currently on my Junior year in Harold State High School." I said to the voice recorder on my phone. It was the softest voice yet the saddest. Before I can continue, I broke down in tears.

"And I'm a damaged teenager girl. I'm all broken. I have casted away to the perfect life I have always thought. My younger sister died because of me. My brother raped me. My parents are getting a divorce. And my friends hate me because I was like this, but they don't understand."

I looked at the blank ceiling staring at me. I can hear the soundproof four corners of wall whispering to me. I never got this much silence after many years. It was a peaceful place occupied by a girl who can never be in peace."I have never felt so alone in my life. Help me."

There were three loud knocks on my door. I dropped my phone and blocked the door with the chair in my room. There were no responses. I kept walking back and fourth and feeling anxious. It might be the ghost of my sister haunting me. It might be the body of my brother forcing me once again. The fears I once hold might be knocking on my door. I cursed, "What should I do?"

The next thing I knew, I've gone ballistic. From throwing my things off the desk to shattering every picture frames of me and the broken connections I have. The peaceful room became a mess. I tore down the poster of my favorite boy band, Peter Pan. And that's when I woke up in my senses. It's the picture of my 5 boyfriends. Five boys who made me feel so alive. I hugged the half-ripped poster of them. Tears fell out.

As the door squeaked, I hid myself on my closet. A small space I feel so comfortable. The silence of hearing myself breathing comforts me. Hugging the ripped poster of my favorite boy band, I closed my eyes. I breathe in. My chest never felt so numb. I breathe out. It feels like there is nothing left inside of me.

And there was a light when opened my eyes. Beyond the doors of my closet was a paradise. There was the smell of grass and the breeze of fresh air. I stepped out. The dumpy clothes I used to wear became an elegant white dress.

I walked and as I shout, I can hear my voice echoing. Until someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around, and saw a tall man in a suit and his face was covered with a masquerade mask. All I can see from his face was his soft lips. He kneeled and kissed my hand. "I've never seen such a wonderful wanderer passing by. My lady, my name is Peter. I am please to meet you."

I can sense a gentleman in him the moment he held my hand. I introduced myself and he told me how lovely my name was. Our conversation continued until I felt like he was an old friend of mine. He was so easy to talk with. He is interesting. In a span of hours, I feel so comfortable with him.

"Would you like to see magic?" He asked me and I nod.

He twirled his finger to the pile of dried leaves on our left. The dried leaves levitated and it formed a shape of a puppy. The dried leaves flashed and it dazzled my eyes. The pile of dried leaves became a cute puppy. The cute puppy ran to me. I kneeled down and pet its head. The smell of plum is marked on the head of the puppy.

"Want some more?" He asked and offer me both his hand. I held his hand. The next thing I knew, my feet weren't attached to the ground anymore. We were floating.

I used to have fear in heights, but I don't feel the need to be scared right now. At this moment, it feels so enchanting. The view from here is mesmerizing. His touch made me feel safe.

"I want you to enjoy the extremes of this feeling. Let go of my hand, Pauline."

"Are you crazy?! I'm gonna fall!"

"You have to trust me, Pauline." He said. I let go of his hands and closed my eyes.

As I open my eyes, I was still floating. I smiled as I feel an inevitable joy. Stars can't measure the happiness I'm feeling right now. I've never felt so free. I fly from shifting directions. I feel like a child again. I feel like the old Pauline who's childhood is an aesthetic place to be. I rushed to Peter and hugged him. As our faces are near, I tasted eternity as I kiss his lips.

I looked deep in his eyes. A sudden scenario flickered before me. A scene where my mother found me dead in my closet. All eyes painted white as I chew the moth balls in my closet. And the ripped poster of my favorite boy band crumpled on my mouth. My skin is very pale and my veins are showing. I was a corpse.

I turned away from his sight. "Don't tell me, please." I begged.

"I'm sorry but I was only made to heal your temporary wounds. This is not your true paradise, Pauline." He said and he sighed. "I'm sorry we can't continue to live like this forever."

He was gone before my eyes. All the magic begun to undo and I'm falling from thin air. All the happiness was drained. All the wounds return. It feels like the heaven forbidden me to live.

For the second time around, I feel so alone.