All I Need to Stay Sane {Lynn Gunn}

I Am Alone, On My Own

{Unedited}

"Fuck you!" Ashley exclaimed, smiling widely at me as she dropped her unlit cigarette on the ground. "It's bad for you," I told her, nudging her shoulder. She just shook her head and bent down to pick it up, shoving it back into the box.

She was wearing a white tank top that showed the sides of her body, and blue shorts that had a few rips in the front. Her blue hair hung over her shoulder on one side (yes i'm changing her hair to blue shh) and her freckles were more noticeable than usual. I was supposed to hang out with Lynn that day but she had band practice so I called Ashley instead. We had been hanging out a lot lately, going to music stores and hanging out at the park. She was really fun to be around.

"Let's go get some food, I'm starving," she told me, pulling me forward by the hand. "Okay, okay," I laughed, following along to my car. Recently my mom had sold the Honda so I had used some of my saved money to buy an old van that had broken seat belts in the back and a shitty radio. But it got me around so I never complained.

I unlocked her door and watched as she hopped in before I walked over to the driver's side. I closed my door and buckled myself quickly, starting the engine. I pulled out of the parking space and drove along the road. "Where are we going?" I asked her, causing her to look at me with her big eyes. "Let's go to Target," she suggested, pointing forward. I nodded and drove up the road, pulling into the parking lot. It was just around the corner of the park where we were, so it only took a minute or so to get there.

We both hopped out of the car and Ashley hopped into a shopping cart, looking around while smiling at me. I laughed and pushed her forward and across the parking lot. She took out her phone and took a bunch of photos of her with me pushing her and I just smiled the whole time, not remembering the last time I had this much fun with someone other that Dane and Lynn.

"Let's go to the food!" Ashley exclaimed, pointing forward. I pushed her down several aisles before we reached the frozen food section. She looked back at me with puppy dog eyes. "Can we get waffles?" she wondered, pouting her bottom lip. I chuckled. "I've never seen you like this before."

She just shrugged. "I'm in a good mood today. It's strange for me too, believe me," she explained, turning forward again. I just shrugged and pushed her to the waffles and she tugged open the freezer door, leaning over the edge of the cart. She took out a box and placed it in her lap.

We went around the store for a while, looking at all sorts of stuff before we decided to leave. When we got back in the car, I rolled down the windows and drove her back to my house.

She followed me inside and I turned on the lights, illuminating the dark room. My parents were gone doing whatever they usually did, so we were alone. I led her up to my room and I sat down on my bed as she joined me, opening the box of chocolate chip waffles. She handed one to me and I bit it, holding it between my teeth. She looked up at me and laughed, shaking her head. She bit into hers and positioned her body toward me, crossing her legs. She smelled vaguely of cigarettes and a sweet mint scent, almost sort of vanilla like.

She looked at me a moment before taking another bite, looking at my walls. "So you really like music, huh?" she wondered, raising an eyebrow at me. I nodded. "Yeah, a little to much, I guess."

"That's dumb, there's no such thing as liking music too much. Music is fucking amazing and anyone who says it isn't is stupid," she claimed, shrugging as she said it. "Yeah," I agreed, nodding my head.

"God, I'm so sick of all this," Ashley sighed, looking up at my ceiling. "Of what?"

She just shook her head. "My mom. She wants to kick me out cause she's tired of me smoking and everything in general. I told you I was mean to be alone," she laughed bitterly, trying to come off as it wasn't a big deal. "You aren't meant to be alone. Like I said, no one is. I'm sorry about your mom, I wish I could help," I told her, my face dropping.

She just shrugged. "Whatever. I'll figure it out."

The raspy tone in her voice was becoming more apparent and she ran a hand through her hair. "You wanna go for a walk with me? I need a smoke."

I nodded and followed her outside, her smoke and minty vanilla scent left to linger in my room and bed. I watched her dark silhouette walk down the street a bit in front of me, smoke circling her frame as I caught up with her, my hands in the pockets of my hoodie.

We walked in silence, save the sound of smoke escaping her pink lips.

QOTD: Would you guys enjoy a Halsey fic?