All I Need to Stay Sane {Lynn Gunn}

To Be Free

{Unedited}

I couldn't sleep much for the first week or so. It was weird being so far from home, sharing a room with someone I barely even knew.

It was late Saturday morning and Tay had gone out to the store. I decided to get out of bed and take a quick shower. The one thing I especially hated was that we had to use communal showers, since we didn't have our own bathrooms in our dorms. 

When I got out, I dried off quickly, trying to shield myself from everybody else - as I had gotten the one shower with the broken curtain. I wrapped my towel around my body and walked over to the sinks where there were several people getting ready, doing their makeup in front of the mirrors. I brushed my teeth and hair, not making eye contact with anyone while I did so. After I was done, I walked back to my dorm, checking to see if Tay had gotten back yet. She was nowhere to be found, so I dressed quickly in my old grey jeans and a black tank top.

I hung up my towel on the side of my bed to dry before sitting at my desk, taking out my makeup and doing my eyeliner. Obviously classes didn't start until August, and I was more than terrified. 

I needed a job. Obviously. I still had money left over from my job that would help me for a while, but I needed to find one nearby. Dane and I hadn't really talked. I had been cooped up in my room for the past week and barely got out of bed. I stood up and opened the small fridge that I had snuck in, pulling out some yogurt and granola. I munched on those mindlessly while I scrolled through my laptop, looking for job offers and anywhere else I might want to look around.

I wished Lynn was there. I wanted to go exploring with her and run around and just feel her next to me. It was so lonely without her.

The door opened and I looked up to see Tay, a couple of bags in her hands. "Hey," I said, waving from my desk. She smiled at me while setting her stuff down. "Look who's finally up. I was sort of worried," she replied, laughing lightly. She walked over to her bed and sat down, pulling out a small bag. "Want some?" she asked, offering me jellybeans. I laughed, nodding. 

She patted the spot beside her and I walked over, sitting down. I watched as she scrunched up her face while she ate a flavor she didn't like, gagging slightly. I just laughed at her and popped a couple into my mouth. "What classes are you taking?" she wondered. I sighed, trying to remember them off the top of my head. "Um..Photography, Film/Animation/Video, and Graphic Design. For now. What about you?"

She shrugged. "I'm taking...Digital and Media, Illustration, Film/Animation/Video, and Industrial Design. I'm not sure what I want to major in yet," she replied, smiling. I nodded. I felt like it was going to be so much harder than I thought it would be. How was I ever supposed to survive?

"Hey, so I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with my friend Jenna and I tonight. We're gonna go out to eat and maybe watch her band rehearse. You in?" Tay offered, looking hopeful. I chewed slowly, wondering if I should accept. I mean...it would be good to make some friends before classes started. 

"Sure, why not?"

//

It was still warm once the sun had gone down, and I listened as Tay and Jenna were deep in conversation. I missed going to the little diner with Dane and Lynn. I sighed as I looked out the window and watched all the kids having parties in the front yard of their houses. Playing beer pong, shooting hoops, hanging out. None of it really interested me all that much.

"So, Alex, how do you like it here?" Jenna asked me, her thick Australian accent slightly muffled by the conversations around us. "It's nice. I just miss people back at home," I replied, sipping at my soda, bending the straw with my teeth. Jenna smiled at me. "Tay tells me you've got a girlfriend back home."

I felt a pit grow in my stomach as I listen to her talk. "Uh, yeah. Lynn." 

Jenna nodded her head, smiling again. "How's that going?" she wondered, taking a bite of her food as she looked back at me. "It's good. Long distance is pretty shitty though," I told her, looking back out the window. "Tell me about it. Well, any time you want to hang out, I'm always around. And I'm sure you and Tay will become pretty good friend. Right Tay?"

Tay smiled at both of us and nodded. "Yeah. I'm always around."

I nodded at both of them. "So, Jenna, you have a band?"

"Yeah! We have practice in a bit if you want to come. We call ourselves Tonight Alive," she exclaimed, getting up after we had all finished paying the bill. "Cool. I'd love to come see you guys rehearse. What type of music do you all play?" I inquired, pulling on the sweatshirt that Lynn had given me, even though I didn't really need it. 

"Pop punk, I guess. Alternative. Whatever you want to call it. I don't like to put things in a box. It all jumps around from place to place. But we'd love to have you watch," Jenna said, leading us out of the restaurant. "We practice in my basement. The moment I became a sophomore I got the fuck out of those dorms. My roommate sucked. But you are welcome any time. Any friend of Tay's is a friend of mine."

I guess Tay and I were friends then.

Jenna hooked her arm around my shoulder as she led us back to the car, humming a tune.