All I Need to Stay Sane {Lynn Gunn}

Gloom Boys

Wow I need to work on updating more because holy shit it has been a while. Tbh I'm really sorry for the long wait, I've been focusing on another story that I've been working on with a friend and we've been really into it the past couple of weeks haha.

If you would like to read it, the prologue and first chapter is up, it's called Plastic Promises, if any of you are into the band Set It Off :)

Anyway, onto the chapter!

It was New Years Eve and Dane had snuck to my dorm, somewhere he was not supposed to be. Mainly because he was a guy and I was a girl, but it's not like anything happened (obviously). 

"I don't really want to do college anymore," I sighed, lying on my bed as I stared up at the ceiling, the blue glow of the TV screen reflecting off of it. "Why not?"

"Because it's so much work. Lynn would never let me quit though. Plus I have no idea what I would do if I did," I explained, turning over to face him, the figure lying beside me on top of all my blankets.

"Well...come on, let's go to our spot. I wanted to go there anyway, it'll be nice. Just to clear your head a bit," he suggested, sitting up. I whined, not wanting to move. 

Dane wasn't having it, so he pulled me up and carried me like a little baby, grabbing my winter coat and boots, setting me down in the hallway outside my room, closing the door behind us. He watched me as I put on my socks and shoes, shrugging my jacket on before he helped me back up.

Lynn had left later on Christmas Day, and I was already counting down the days until I could see her again. 

Lately, my emotions had been pretty crazy and I had been turning to Dane for help instead of her. I felt bad about it a lot, but it was easier because Dane was there and she wasn't. Not that it was her fault. I was the one who moved away and went to school, but it still made me upset in pretty much every possible way.

Dane and I made our way to the other side of the dorms to take his car, and I hopped in the passenger side while I watched Dane struggle to wipe the snow off his car so he could actually see out of the windshield. After a few moments, he joined me inside the car, his breathing a bit heavy from all the movement, the tip of his nose a bit red because of the cold.

We started on the drive, the street cleared of all the snow, tire tracks keeping the ground level. I wanted to go home so badly. And at the same time I wanted to tear my skin from my bones until there was nothing left.

I knew I was going to lose everything, everyone. I knew I was going to lose Lynn and possibly even Dane. It was so fucking hard to just hold myself together for another day.

And that was the night that the city lights blinded me forever, the night that there were bugs crawling between my fucking bones, chewing at the rotting flesh inside of me. 

I couldn't stop screaming. 

We never reached our spot, the frozen over lake with the beautiful trees covered in frost. 

It was like that all just ceased to exist. The ringing in my ears returned, along with the nightmare inside my head that I thought had left. 

Dane held me in his arms as he called the hospital, demanding they make a bed for me to keep me safe, his soft voice echoing in my skull, bouncing off the sides and crashing into my spine. His comforting words just drove me insane. But I needed it, I needed it, I needed it. 

He begged for them to keep me safe.

To keep me sane between those four fucking walls that trapped me for months.