All I Need to Stay Sane {Lynn Gunn}

Prelude

Do you ever feel like you don't matter in life? Like everyone else is winning but all you can seem to do is lose? People are happy, people have friends. But you feel like you have absolutely nothing.

And it hurts so bad. You can physically feel that familiar ache in your chest, but you can never seem to be able to cry. You want it all to end, more than anything. But you can't let it go because you're too scared. And then you become too clingy; so desperate for any amount of affection that it almost eats away at your hollow insides.

That's how I felt. I knew nothing would get better. I watched all the people around me win. The people I loved, the people I hated. And it drove me crazy, to the point where I just stopped caring.

I didn't understand the point of getting up in the mornings. I didn't understand why I existed. I was desperate for a reason to keep breathing, keep taking small steps. I thought that person would never come, but she proved me wrong. Part of me hated her for it, but I never could. She was what I needed, what I would always need.

Looking at her made me feel like I could finally breathe fresh air. She always made me feel safe, and I didn't know what to do without her. She was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. And she was my only reason to stay.