All I Need to Stay Sane {Lynn Gunn}

I'll Always Be Around

The stars were beautiful.

Goosebumps danced across my chilled skin, shining slightly in the comforting light of the moon. My legs hung from my favorite bridge, the bubbling water singing beneath me. The water was dark in contrast to the navy blue sky.

I missed feeling free. I missed the way I could smile about everything, no matter what was going on. I missed the feeling of fingertips that kept me safe, tucked in at night. I missed feeling at home.

It had been a while since I came home. The days were lonely and quiet. I didn't talk to Dane much anymore. I think he moved on and that was okay. But I missed my brother, my best friend. I thought things would always be the same with us, that we would spend our lives together as a family because that was what we had been doing for so long.

I thought I would marry her. My love. My only love.

I love you.

From the moment I saw you, I knew it was you. It had to be you.

I know you're with her now and that's the way it turned out. I always thought it would be you and me, forever. Always. But it isn't and it hurts. My heart feels rotten from all the weight.

I was so in love with you. I am in love with you and I wish you could have seen that. Maybe at one point you did, but you put the stars in my sky and gave me a reason to breathe. I could almost hear my heart beat late at night and I could turn it into a song, rather than a headache when I was alone.

I felt like I had a purpose at your side. Just a simple smile and I was fine, because I had you and I knew you had me. Those promises you made kept me alive and happy and safe. The way you looked at me in the early mornings made me think that maybe the world isn't such a bad place to live in, because people like you exist.

Your voice was like listening to the birds singing in the morning. And even when you broke my heart, I wanted you to keep speaking because I couldn't get enough of you.

I used to see things as black and white. But when I fell for you, the colors were endless.

I hoped she would get my note.

I ran a hand through my hair that crept down my back in waves. The water beneath me was deep and inviting. I wanted to be free again.

I stood up and looked over the edge, seeming to get lost inside of the intricate waves.

One foot up.

Then the other.

I swung my body over the ledge, now on the opposite side of the ledge, just ten feet above the water. Tears fell from my eyes and I smiled, looking up at the moon, the stars one last time.

I wondered if she was looking at them too.

One deep breath --

The water was freezing. But after a while, my skin was numb and I invited the water in, clogging up my lungs, piercing my insides. I could even see the moon through the surface, looking down on me.

I was finally free.

THE END.