DISTRICT 1 FEMALE: EVA GONZALES
Score:
N/A
Feedback:
N/A
Bonus:
N/A
DISTRICT 3 FEMALE: WILLOW JACKSON
Score:
9.5
Feedback:
The letter format was very creative, and I liked the way you let her character come through. It seemed realistic, as though the girl was really writing to her mother. I did think the sentence about robots was a little to abruptly thrown in, but it did add extra intrigue. It did a good job of being a hook, but it was fairly short. It could have been a bit more descriptive, but I really enjoyed the way it flowed. The little references to other fandoms were very nice, and I thought it was pretty original. So, overall it was really good entry! Fantastic job!
Bonus:
3 extra points to be awarded to any entry/spread out across entries. Make sure to notify me if you chose to use this, before scores are posted.
DISTRICT 4 FEMALE: ELIZA 'IZA' REMON
Score:
N/A
Feedback:
N/A
Bonus:
N/A
DISTRICT 5 FEMALE: AALIYAH TORREN
Score:
N/A
Feedback:
N/A
Bonus:
N/A
DISTRICT 6 FEMALE: MARISSA CLAIRE
Score:
9.5
Feedback:
I really, really liked the moment of change you selected, and the many twists and turns your entry took us through. I didn't catch many errors, but a formatting error kind of stood out. First, I know that the email might have change the format, so please contact me if it was because of that. Also, I would like to admit now that I made the exact same mistake in my first real Author Games. When you include dialogue, there generally should be a space in between each character's speech, such as writing:
"Do you want to go to the movies?" I asked.
"Sure," she reluctantly agreed. (Correct)
Rather than:
"Do you want to go to the movies?" I asked. "Sure," she reluctantly agreed.
Other than that small error, the entry was really good!
Bonus:
3 extra points to be awarded to any entry/spread out across entries. Make sure to notify me if you chose to use this, before scores are posted.
DISTRICT 8 FEMALE: KAREN JIBANYAN
Score:
9.25
Feedback:
I liked the flow of the story and the ending was fitting. It was pretty long, and it showed you put some effort into it. There were a few spelling/grammar mistakes, and some of it could have been a bit more realistic. For future reference, try to avoid time skips, but other than that this was a great entry!
Bonus:
Extend the time limit of any entry by thirty minutes.
DISTRICT 9 MALE: JUSTIN CONNER
Score:
N/A
Feedback:
N/A
Bonus:
N/A
DISTRICT 10 MALE: DARIUS LIONEL
Score:
N/A
Feedback:
N/A
Bonus:
N/A
DISTRICT 12 FEMALE: KAYLA WILLIAMS
Score:
9
Feedback:
I thought the entry was pretty creative, though a few of the elements seemed to be pulled from other sources, such as serums. The serums felt a little abruptly added, but again they added interest. It did a good job of being a hook and making me want to read more, but leaving a few details out might have been more intriguing. You could already start to see Sam's character develop, which was really nice. Overall, great job!
Bonus:
Extend the word count of any task by 50 words.
•••
This is my first tome hosting an Author Games, so if you felt the bonuses/grading was unfair, or that my feedback was too harsh, please, please tell me! I promise I'm not going to to get mad at you for calling out my mistake. Also, if I made a spelling or grammar mistake, I would much rather you let me know, so that I can change it and so I do not sound hypocritical. If a problem comes up concerning another tribute, please PM me rather than comment. If you would like to get feedback by PM rather than post, or of you want no feedback whatsoever, just ask!
If you sent in a warm-up challenge and I didn't post or score it let me know. Also, we will now (most likely) be playing with ten tributes, not eight!o
Thanks!!
YOU ARE READING
Author Games: Superhuman {Closed}
FanfictionThis is a parody of the hunger games, where the readers submit tributes and can sponsor some tributes. The contestants will also have to write short stories, as well as help narrate the games, to survive.
