My Marilyn Manson Love Story❤

Pregnancy Tests, Again

Song(s) of the day-If I was your vampire/tourniquet

The next morning came to quick. I had to make my decision today. I couldn't just hold this thing out until I'm 9 months pregnant. Haha. Not that I'm pregnant...
I got out of bed and got my cigarettes. Just as I was about to get to the door I stopped. "No...Stop. Don't smoke your life away..." I struggled to put it back down, but I finally did. I breathed out a breath. "It's okay." I muttered.

I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I striped and got in, letting the steaming hot water hit my back. I bit my lip and moaned. I needed a good hot shower to soothe my pain and stress. Now was a good time to not think about all the bad stuff. But, knowing me, I couldn't just not think about stuff.

I thought about Marilyn. And about Sam. And about me. I loved both of them. Marilyn got me out of depression and cutting, then got me back in. Sam took away my stress, I didn't have to act like somebody different around him. I had a strong connection with both of them. Almost killed myself because of them too. I mentally slapped myself. "Shut up.." I muttered. My stomach growled and I felt like I was going to throw up. I haven't eat anything in days. I was starving my ass off for some ungodly reason. I was down to a size 7. And my boobs were still the same. 38B. My features grew darker. I had dark, saggy bags under my eyes. My arms started feeling weaker and weaker. I felt more depressed. And thinking about it, I haven't had my period this month yet. It always came on the 20th of every month. Oh fuck.

I dumped out of the shower and quickly wrapped a towel around myself. I tried to run to the kitchen. ""Calendar...Calendar..." I muttered. I slipped going down the stairs and fell straight on my ass. I bit my lip from crying and I got up. My hip hurt, but I drug my leg. I quickly ran over to the refrigerator and looked at the calendar. I ran my finger along the numbers until I found what today was. "29th..." I muttered to myself. "It's the twenty ninth..." I let out a ragged breath. "Oh shit." I said. I felt like I was going to hurl again.

I quickly ran over to the garbage can and threw my guts up. I don't want to talk about the rest, so I'll just skip through that.

After I wiped my mouth I said, "pregnancy test..." I was about to walk out the door when Sam called my name. "Leonna?" I mentally screamed and put my back to the front door as he walked down the stairs. "Uhhh...Sam." I said through my forced grin. "What are you doing, baby?" He said as he walked up to me and grabbed my waist, pulling me towards him. He planted a quick kiss down on my lips and pulled away. "I um...have to go to the store." He looked down at me. "In your towel?" I looked down and squealed. "I...i was going to change." He laughed and gave me another quick kiss. "Ok. I was about to go out myself. How 'bout I come too?" I screamed from the inside. "I...no...I'll be really quick. I'm just getting one thing. And I'm kind of rushing so...another time?" He was kind of confused, but said it was ok.

I hurried and changed my clothes. I put my yoga pants on with a little tank top and hurried out the door. At the drugstore I halfway managed to even get in the door. I felt so weak and horrible to where I couldn't barely move. My stomach growled as I walked, but I put a hand to it and mentally told it to shut up. I went to the ladies department and looked through all the pregnancy tests that they had. I got One Response that costed forty effin dollars and went to the bathroom.

I tried opening the box but my fingers fumbled with it. "FUCK!" I yelled and threw it. I slid down the wall and raked my hands through my hair. I breathed out big breaths and inhaled small ones. "Breathe...just breathe..." I told myself. "Calm down. You're fine..." I closed my eyes and hung my head down. I sighed and started breathing normally again.

I stood up and grabbed the box off the floor. I slowly opened the box and got it out. I done everything it said to do on the box and all I had to do now was wait. It said 5-10 minutes. Dang these things took so long to read.

I sat down on the toilet seat and waited. And waited. And waited. Eventually the timer went off on my phone. 10 minutes exactly. I got up and looked at the test. Two vertical pink lines showed up on its surface. I put a hand to my mouth. "I'm pregnant...." I whispered in my hand. I dropped the test and the box and put a hand to my flat stomach. I looked in the mirror and turned sideways to look at myself. Pregnant. I'm pregnant...

"This can't be happening..." I put a hand to my forehead. I fell to my knees and threw up in the toilet. Ugh. I got my phone and looked through my contacts. My thumb hovered over Sam's number, but then it scrolled down to Marilyn's. I quickly called the number and put it to my ear. "Yes?" Asked a female voice. "Oh um...is...is Marilyn there?" I squeezed my eyes shut. "Why? Who's this?" She said in a snappy tone. "Bitch, just put Marilyn on the goddamn phone before I go through this mother fucking phone and beat your ass raw for talking to me like that. Get some fucking manners, Thot." Damn I even sounded like a pregnant woman.

"What?" Snapped Marilyn. "Did someone just stick a dildo up everybody's goddamn ass today or is it just you and your bitch?" I snapped back. I could hear him sigh. "What do you want?" He said lightly. "I was wondering if you could come and get me." There was a pleadingness in my voice that I hope he noticed. "Where are you?" He asked again snapply. I sighed. "At the drugstore, in the bathroom." I hoped he would have took pity on me. But no. "Why can't your fuckboy come and get you?" I started crying. "Are you...are you fucking crying?" He asked harshly. I cried more. "All I wanted was for you to pick me up because I'm to damn sick to even drag myself to my own car..." I cried even more. "I...I just found out I'm pregnant and you can't even...fucking pick...me...up..." I said as I cried through every breath I took. "What?" He said lowly. "You know what? I'll just call my "fuckboy", that's my fiancé now, to come pick my pregnant ass up. You can just go fuck your self, bastard!" I hung up my phone and slammed it on the cold floor.

I guess I'm marring Sam now....

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Wow.
That's all I can say.
Wow.
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