Rude Boy Love :: l.h

Chapter 39 >> Forget

Sunday 20th December

Luke's POV

 "Dammit." I sigh to myself and look around to see my band has disappeared on me. I look down at my  phone and see that it is almost three in the morning.

We have been back home for two days now, and for some reason it feels odd being back in my hometown. I mean I was gone for awhile, eight months is a long time for some people. I thought that when we got back I could fit right back in to how everything use to be. But no.

Everything's changed. I tried to go back to my house, but one step in and it was so unfamiliar. Not in the sense that it looked any different, but the vibe. It felt uncomfortable and dejected. Even looking at my own mother I could see she wasn't who she was eight months ago. She was drained in the face and all I wanted to do was hug her and nurse her back to the person I use to know.

I guess I only have one person to blame for that. And I suppose those other two cheating fucks. Just the thought of that makes my blood boil. 

I haven't spoken to my dad since that morning. By my was that eventful. I don't think I have ever punched someone so hard in my life. I could have killed him in that moment, but luckily my brothers were there to stop any damage I did to him and myself. I hate hime so much. My mother loved him in every single way possible and he had to ruin our family. He can rot in hell for all I care.

I haven't thought about that day too often in the past eight months. Every time I did I would push it to the back of my mind and focus on music. I didn't want anything to distract me from what we where there do to. And thank god it didn't. We have released two songs which have both been pretty successful so far.

I was proud of what we were putting out. Even one of the songs I wrote, Amnesia, was being played all around the world. I couldn't believe that it could actually happen. I love this song, its so personal to me, and represents a chapter of my life. Releasing it to the world was like me closing the book and letting everyone read it. Now I get to start a new chapter.

I would be lying to myself if I said the song wasn't about her. Only a little. Okay maybe half of it. Fine it was all about her. I couldn't help, I needed to get everything I was feeling off of my chest, I meant every single word.

Honestly I do wish that I could have Amnesia and forget about her completely. I hate her, I hate her so much and I just everything to go away. I wanted to forget about the way she circled her thumb over the top of mine when we held hands. I wanted to forget about how she always had to 2 sugars with her tea. I wanted to forget about the way she would kiss the tips of my fingers and make me smile. And most importantly I wanted to forget about her.

She ruined me. She left my heart shattered into a million pieces and I didn't know how to fix it. No matter what I did, or how many girls I slept with, at the end of the day she was the only person on my mind. 

I hate her and I don't know how to stop loving her.

I keep looking around, trying to find any signs of the boys. We managed to score the VIP section of the club. Don't ask me how, maybe our songs were pretty big back home.

"Ah finally. Where the hell have you been?" I question throwing my arms in the air and dropping them down onto my legs. Calum walks towards me and furrows his eyebrows.

"Mate we told you we were going to get beers." He tells me and I try thinking back to when I last saw Calum.

"Here, you go." He holds the cup out and I see Ashton walking up behind him, then I remember.

"Oh yeah, sorry I forgot." I admit and sit back down on the comfy couch. Calum shakes his head jokingly whilst patting me on the back. "Have you seen Michael?"

"Nah I haven't seen him for hours, maybe he left with someone?" Ashton suggests. I groan internally at the thought.

"He better not have, I don't want to have to awkwardly talk to them tomorrow morning and then tell them to leave." I say annoyed at Michael. Even though we're back home we have to stay at a hotel to do some press for a couple of days. Management wanted us all together and I had to room with Michael. "I'm gonna go and find him."

I get up from my seat with my beer and walk out of the VIP section. It had become much harder to find Michael lately when he occasionally wondered off. He didn't have bright hair anymore, so you can imagine how hard it would be to find him in a club. 

I peak down at my phone to see if I had any messages from him but there were none. I wasn't even ten steps out of VIP and I couldn't be bothered looking anymore. To be honest I wasn't enjoying the night. I wasn't overly joyed after my visit back home and the alcohol was having no effect over me. 

I shoot a quick text to Calum and Ashton telling them I am going back to my room and proceed out of the exit. Our hotel is only a five minute walk so there was no point in calling a taxi. It was quite warm outside even though it is in the early hours of the morning. Summer in Australia for ya.

My hands dig deep into my pockets as I walk slowly along the pavement. Kicking the small stones around that were in the my way and whistling a tune to myself.

Not long, I was back at the hotel and pushing myself through the revolving doors. The cute woman who looks about twenty-two gave me a flirtatious smile as I walk pass her. I send a wink back her direction and keep walking. 'What the hell am I doing?' I think to myself, but I also secretly hope that she will follow me back up to my room.

After waiting a couple of seconds for the elevator, it dings open and I step in. When the doors close and the cute woman can't see me anymore, I let my shoulders drop and sigh heavily. I push my floor number and rest myself against the railings. My eyes close and my head falls back against the cool mirrored wall.

Even though today wasn't an eventful day, I felt drained. The elevator dings and I hear the doors open. My eyes flutter open and yawn escapes my mouth.

Shit. No

"Fuck."