Rude Boy Love :: l.h

Chapter 37 >> Car Radio

*DISCLAIMER: The photo above has been photoshopped by myself and isn't what Ashley Benson really looks like, only what I imagine Scarlett, the character to look like at this point of the story after not eating properly.*

.....

Saturday 19th December

Scarlett's POV

It's getting late. To be honest I don't really know what I am doing. Sometimes driving helps me think, sometimes it helps distract me, but right now I couldn't decide which one I am trying to accomplish.

I had known for a while, but word officially broke out yesterday that the boys were arriving home. Their new found success had landed them a story on every news channel and it was impossible to escape it.

I didn't leave the house at all, let alone my room. The possible chance that I could run into him with one step outside was terrifying.  Once I had built up enough courage, I made a run for it and jumped into my car.

I sigh and pull over to the side of the road parking in front of a park. My body falls forward as i lightly bang my head against the steering wheel over and over again. I had made it so long without thinking about him, or what I did and now I can't get it out of my head.

Why did I stay here? I should have left after the divorce. What did I expect to happen? Start a new life and be happy again? No way, not while I'm here. Not where I know everyone and everyone knows me and what I did.

I need to be somewhere where nobody knows my name let alone my story. A place where my ex boyfriend doesn't live three houses down and across the road from me. Somewhere I'm not afraid to step out of my house.

The thoughts become overwhelmed in my head and reach to turn the radio on. All I hear is static and I twist the nod to get a clear signal.

"...summer with amnesia." The radio says when I finally can hear what is being said. A soft guitar riff fills the car and I smile. My eyebrows furrow when I hear the first lyrics.

"I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted,"

That voice, it sounded familiar but not enough that I could put a finger on it. Funnily enough the words made me think of the night the Luke and I got wasted on the beach.

"I thought about our last kiss how it felt the way you tasted,

and even though all friends tell me you're doing fine,"

The voice is so delicate and that high note is mesmerising.

"Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?

When he says those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder was it just a lie?"

There it was again, such a beautiful high note.

"If what we had was real how could you be fine?

Cause I'm not fine at all."

Those last lines really pulled on my heart strings. Every time I asked Sam how Luke was, she said he was fine or he was good. It made me confused how he could be so okay when I was falling apart. So I told Sam if they ask to tell them I was fine as well.

I feel my breath hitch when I hear the chorus. That angelic voice that I haven't heard in eight months now fills the car and flows through my ears. I fight the urge to turn the radio off, and sit back embracing him.