Author's Games: Samurai

Task Two: Scores and Opinions

Clan 3: Kairi Saito - 12.9

BEEENNNNNNNJJJJIIIIIIIRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Okay this might sound a little arrogant (which is not how I mean it), but I felt like I was reading one of my novels while I was reading the whole entry. YOU TEASED ME. At first, I thought you were going to do something between Kairi and Ishida, but then... in walks Benjiro, sounding like an alternate timeline version of Shinji. As soon as I finished reading, especially with that epic twist of a freaking cliff hanger, I jumped up off my chair, smacked my ears (I have no idea why) and danced around the room screaming my head off (literally) trying to figure out why you were doing this to me and what was going to happen next. Honestly I just need to read more and I need it NOW. I'm officially addicted to this story (yes it's a story) and you are just such a talented writer I might die. I can also see you grinning right now because you know good and well what you've done. Yes, payback has been achieved, so I'm sure you're quite pleased with yourself right now. YOU SHOULD BE BECAUSE THIS IS HORRIBLE AND I AM SO SCARED FOR WHATS COMING. Plus, BENJIRO! He's my new favorite (obviously). As for notes, you did mention the word door a few times (at the entrance and exit of the dojo, but even in the front they would have had shojis so I had to take off 0.1 from historical accuracy with objects. KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK! Oh, and please don't kill BENJIRO!

Clan 2: Kyou Asai - 12.8

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I don't want to overwhelm you with my fangirling screams but I LOVED the tragic revelation of Kyou's past. More than that, you accurately tied it in with Magoichi with several twists—Magoichi and Kyou being best friends in the past, training under the same sensei for a time, loving the same woman and Magoichi leaving her. And then just when I didn't think you could throw any more twists at me, you did with the fact that Magoichi leaving her is what caused her to kill herself. Kyou's emotions were well blended with this—the part when he grieved over her and thought back to it was SOOOOO SWEET AND HORRIBLE AND TRAGIC it twisted my heart and just aaahhh. Gut-wrenching! At first I didn't even notice the implication to Soukyuu no Hata, until I went back and re read it. But you IMPLIED it instead of directly stating it, which meant so much more because then I felt the emotions behind the scene and song both instead of just reading it, you know? I loved the creativity with the quest itself—having to get the relic, fight the bandits, save the monk—and the twist that Sensei wasn't going to help them, but that he showed them that Magoichi and Kyou need each other. You also portrayed Magoichi very very well (once again you intimate me because you almost portray my characters better than I do), and I just love their brotherly friendship/rivalry going on. In the future, I hope they work things out, but I can totally see the tragic ending with both of them (especially with what I have planned for Magoichi... hehe). I'm reading this like a Japanese novel or new manga (minus the pictures at least) and it's like I can't get enough of it. As for notes, at one point you had the monk (I can't remember how to spell his name) call Magoichi "Magoichi-san" when you had been using "chan." I didn't have a section for this—I mean, no one gets as detailed as you—so I just took off 0.1 for grammar since technically it's still grammar, just not English. Hahaha! I did take off 0.1 for action scenes realism because he shouted his attack out loud. I LOVE THAT and I know it's a major anime thing (hence why I love that; plus it makes the fighting easy to follow and intense and informative all at once), but it's not very realistic. As a judge, I have to take off a point for that even though I really, really didn't want to. Knowing all of this, your score totaled to 12.8. I have to read more; I'm addicted to this story and I just... I NEED MORE !!