Author's Games: Samurai

Task One: Scores and Opinions

AT LAST THE SCORES AND OPINIONS ARE OUT! I am SO sorry for the week delay - I hope you guys can forgive me! I've been so busy lately with college, my mom's surgery and my grandma being in the nursing home that I just haven't had the time. I've had to drop out of all author's games as a participant, but I still am going to host, even if deadlines have to be extended for longer. Deadlines will be longer (good for you guys), but I hope to try to get scores and stuff out sooner than this time. I am sorry! 

Clan 3: Kairi Saito - 13

NO MISTAKES! None!!! Boy, you just LOVE getting payback, don't you??? DON'T YOU? I'm seriously sitting here after reading this, in tears, just... gosh this was so tragically beautiful. (Now I know how you felt reading Samurai). There was so much development to Kairi's character here... I mean I saw a completely new side to her that I've never seen before (well two technically). You're descriptions were just so astoundingly beautiful, combined with her thoughts and emotions enough to just make me feel everything that she felt. I loved the part where she was looking at her father's body, the way you described him was beautiful and vivid, making me feel like I was right there with her. Not only that, but the way you described what she felt about seeing it was so realistic. I've been to a lot of funerals, and that's exactly what you feel. Seriously. The fact that it was so deep into her character made it a wonderful read. Not only that, but it was with the Japanese traditions as well, making it historically accurate. I just... I'm completely blown away right now. I didn't see anything that I would have changed or told you to fix. Just keep at it. You're creativity with the song was my favorite part. (I swear I think I knew that song). Writing it out in Japanese literally gave me chills because it was just such a beautiful song. I loved, loved LOVED how it spoke about unity and the way you incorporated it into making up her mind. Like THIS. This entry was the PERFECT example of the moment I was asking for. I got that perfect moment! AMAZING JOB I CANT WAIT TO READ MORE. Keep it up!

Clan 7: Shiro Askura - 12.9

This was a beautifully written entry! The way you described Shiro's emotions about him being leader now was so realistic, historically accurate and intense. I loved how you got so in depth to the pressure he was under, as well as how he had to act composed all the time. The description of the weight on his shoulders was absolutely fantastic. Once again, your introduction was gripping and I was engaged while reading the whole story. I'm anxious to continue reading Shiro's story, to find out how it ends. The realism with the conversation between he and his brother was impressive—talking about their supplies and the rice fields, the information about Nobunaga's attack and then the suggestion of taking over Japan. Your descriptions of when he was staring outside looking at his clan was beautiful and vivid as well. I felt like I was looking out with him. As for notes, you had one grammar mistake (use of wrong word). It felt a little on the short side, especially since you had a head start above everyone else, I was kind of expecting a little bit more, and a little more in the creative department. But overall, I really enjoyed it. you did a fantastic job. I really got the feels for all the pressure he was under, and I absolutely LOVED his development into a strong character and leader. Keep it up! I must read more of Shiro's story!

Clan 8: Hirotei Imagawa - 12.9

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. THE ENDING WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND THAT BABY IS SOOO DANG CUTE. GAAAH. BABY FEELS. Your descriptions and vocabulary seriously never fail to stun me EVERY SINGLE TIME. Like I almost cried from how beautiful it was. I mean, I could just be emotional, but whatever. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. This showed A LOT about Hirotei's character. You did so good with his development. I'm starting to see the beginning of his character arc, which at this point is what we need and it's something major I'm looking for. But you GOT THIS DOWN! It was a well blended entry that seriously feels like I'm reading a story, not an entry in a competition. The best writers pull me out of the competition entirely and that's what you did. It was also so historically accurate I felt like I was in 1560 Japan, which is something important I look for in everyone's entries. YOU DID SO PERFECT and I wanted you to have a 13, but you went over the word count!!!! Sooooo, I was forced to count off points.... Sadly! For future references, it counts as one mistake for every 50 words... and remember that it takes 4 mistakes to have 0.2 points taken off... I have a feeling you're going to keep going over on word count, so I figured you would need this information :) I NEED TO READ MORE! GAHHH. I'm anxious to find out what happens next. I don't know if I trust Yoshitada..... YOU WORRY ME. BUT SAKURA!!! THAT WAS SO PERFECT.