Author's Games: Samurai

Task Three: Scores and Opinions

Clan 2: Kyou Asai - 13

WOW. First off, you deserve an award for most realism and most used Japanese language. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how much you're including it, even if for 70% of it I have to flip back to the dictionary you included, it makes it sound and feel so real. Your descriptions of the disease, the bodies, the village... were just... intense and vivid. I am so disgusted and... I was basically cringing the whole time. I mean, it was fantastic! Terrible, but fantastic in that it was the most well placed descriptions I've ever read. MAGOICHI HAS THE BLACK DEATH. Yes, I got the feels. Omg. Not to mention Kyou now too, I mean they are just so screwed, haha. I thought it was SO realistic and historically accurate that you made the disease the Black Death, I mean come on that crap is brutal! It made for an interesting twist. I also felt for just how much Kyou had going wrong. I mean... From Bad to Worse! As for notes, I didn't see any grammar mistakes... I did think that Oni meant devil in Japanese, but they probably have multiple words for it. I know you felt like you didn't have enough word count, but I felt like his emotions were so well engrained into the entry, it perfectly balanced out the heavy handed brutal descriptions and the action going on as well. Amazing job! Perfect score! 13!

Clan 8: Hirotei Imagawa - 13

You portrayed Hideyoshi soooooo well! I was impressed, especially with his solution and how he choose to keep the alliance secret (Hideyoshi would do something that honorable). The entire story was a very interesting read and I was hooked from start to finish. As usual, you portray Hirotei so well; I love his personality, the way he talks and acts and his well-blended emotions! He and his wife are so cute too! I also loved how you ended it with a cute ship moment ^-^

I really enjoyed how you included both the protesting people and the disease and how they went hand in hand. Your creativity in this entry was amazing and it paid off. I also liked their solutions—so simple and yet very effective. The scene with Hideyoshi was.... Amazing!

As for notes, I didn't see any mistakes at all, so congrats on a perfect score! Just keep up the good work! I CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE!

Clan 13: Sanada Ren - 13

CONGRATULATIONS ON A PERFECT SCORE. This entry and you definitely deserved it. The introduction with the numbers was SO hooking, I started reading and couldn't stop. Your descriptions and emotions were so well blended and this entry was so sad! I just loved your creativeness with the disease... Even though we know there's nothing like it in reality, it was so well described that you made it feel real, which was why it was so scary and emotional. It was sad that her brother's servant died. I also really loved the shift between both of them in the middle—it showed a lot of characterization with both of them.

As for notes, I didn't see one grammar mistake and NO HISTORICAL MISTAKES! I can tell you worked hard on this entry and really did your research. Fantastic job! My advice to you: keep up the good work! And don't rush!

HOW COULD AIKO GET SICK? THAT IS NOT OKAY NOT OKAY AT ALL. I LOVE HIM AND I SHIP HIM AND REN! (RENKO)!!!! AND NOW HES SICK AND HE BETTER NOT DIE. GAAAH.

I HAVE TO CONTINUE READING THIS STORY!

Clan 3: Kairi Saito - 12.9

GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU... IM FANGIRLING FAR TOO MUCH TO JUDGE RIGHT NOW. BETWEEN THE FEELS OF HER EXECUTION, THE RAW EMOTIONS THAT SHE WENT THROUGH, TORTURING BENJI, THE ALMOST SHIP MOMENT WITH MY PRECIOUS BENJIRO..... AND THE FACT THAT YOU INCLUDED ASPECTS FROM MY BOOK SAMURAI AND THE VALIANT SERIES ITSELF I AM JUST DYING RIGHT NOW. As for notes, the only mistake I saw was the mention of chair, when at this point in Japanese history, they sat on mats. Other than that, this was perfect. I LOVE THIS STORY IM ADDICTED AND I MUST HAVE MORE!!!