Always And Forever

Chapter 42

I sat with my legs crossed up on the bench and faced Roman. He was dead silent again so of course I had to start the talking again.

"I'm all ears now...and Dean is gone too."

"You could have let him stay there. I know he was waiting around for you and that was fine."

"Nah, it's okay. I didn't want to hold him up and that way we could talk without being rushed. I told him I'll catch up to him later."

"Thanks Kiran, I really appreciate that."

"So.....what's on your mind?"

I waited a moment for him to say something but just silently rotated his phone in his hand while looking down at the floor.

[ROMAN POV]

After waiting for so long for this, here I was, sitting with the love of my life, who was giving me a chance to talk to her, and I couldn't string any words together. Where should I even start? What if she doesn't accept my apology? I was so embarrassed of my actions that I couldn't even look her in the eye while trying to talk to her.

"Roman? What's wrong now? Why aren't you saying anything?"

"Because...I don't know how or where to start."

"Start anywhere, I promise I'll hear every word you have to say."

I took a deep breath and just let it all out.

"Okay... here it goes... Since the day I met you, I have always had a feeling that you were someone special, and I couldn't have been more right. I got to know you so well at work and outside of work on a personal level. I've told you this before, and I'll tell you again, since you've come into my life, you've given me so much happiness and so many reasons to smile. You've always supported me through my best and worst days. I just don't know how I ended up being a total asshole to the love of my life. I don't know how I let someone come in between us and ruin what we had. And I definitely don't understand how the fuck I could ever lay a hand on you. But the truth is that's what happened. I let Seth's words get to me without even giving you a chance. I was so afraid that I had already lost you that I ended up taking my anger out on you. You did nothing but love me."

Kiran was attentively listening to me with her chin resting in her hand. I gently took her wrists in my hand and bought our attention to them.

"This... this right here... it should never have happened. You were my baby girl, and that night, I should never have forced myself on you like that. It's no way to treat a girl, and I was raised to know better than that. I let my anger and ego take over and tried to claim you as my own. It was stupid and selfish of me to do, but most of all, it was disrespectful to you. Not only that, I let Summer touch me, and that was also a big mistake on my part. I was so frustrated thinking that you had cheated on me with Seth, so I tried getting even with Summer. Kiran, I am so sorry for everything I've said and done to you. I'm sorry for hurting you physically and emotionally. If you ever find the heart to forgive me, I'll be so grateful to you. If not, then I'll also understand that, too. The truth is I never stopped loving you, and to be honest, I don't think I ever will."

[KIRAN POV]
Roman poured out his feelings and owned up to his mistakes but it was hard to respond back to him. He had tears streaming down his face and was clearly upset with himself. I was about to move closer to him to comfort him but I stopped myself. "Roman, thank you for apologizing, it really means a lot to me and I appreciate you taking responsibility for your actions. I accept your apology and I forgive you too, but—"

"But you're still mad at me...right?"

"No, I'm not mad at you anymore. If I was, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. It's just that I'm not ready to jump back into a relationship again."