Nando's Girl

29:A week later

Joe:

The next week was one of the darkest weeks of my entire life. I had Lost count of times that I had sat next to Zoe whilst she was visited by the darkest parts of her brain, held back by fear as she sat shaking on the floor, crying over the smallest of things that her anxiety made so much worse. But at least She was moving and making a sound, showing the world that although she was being tortured of normality, she was still a person with emotion. Robin couldn't even move, she had stayed in the same position for days on end. The day after I had sobbed in Jacks apartment, I took my broken bestie back to my apartment. Her dress had been ripped and was useless, so I had got Alice to bring some of her clothes, plus a load of Robin's stuff. Originally she was going to go back to her own apartment, but Ivy and I agreed that she needed constant supervision at this point in case she does something drastic, and because I worked from home and had flexible hours it made more sense for me to look after her.

I say that, but I demanded to look after her, as I refused to leave her side until she felt better. It was my fault that her whole life had become scary and intimidating, all because I thought about my dick rather that actually look after my friend. So I sat with her, played her records at full blast, clearing one of my walls and stuck up her Polaroids and fairy lights which were left constantly left twinkling. Her 5 seconds of summer shirts were EVERYWHERE and I forgot how many bowls of mashed potato I had made her. However she just sat on my bed, not doing anything. Occasionally, when I come back from a shower or making another cup of coffee I would arrive to see tears dripping from her eyes, or her shoulders would be shaking uncontrollably with suppressed emotion, and I would sit with her again, sometimes for hours, and tell her how sorry I was, that I was the worst friend ever and that It was my fault, not hers.

"Dude, you gotta stop thinking that it's your fault!" Caspar exclaimed.
"It is Caspar," I sighed for what felt like the millionth time. Today was Wednesday, exactly a week since the incident happened. During this I had had three calls from Robin's sixth form, 5 visits from Isabella and Giulietta, three from Alice and 12 orders of Nandos picked up from multiple people. Even Mary came to visit, trying not to show the tears that sparkled in her eyes, but when I pulled her in for a hug she sobbed into my chest, leaving mascara stains on my jumper. It was comforting however, because she was the only other one that had cried over Robin. For some reason, everyone had been so strong around her, treating the situation as it it never existed. I always made sure that the door was closed on their visits, yet I still heard the giggles from upstairs. And when they were gone, although she wasn't smiling Robin was much more relaxed, even opening her arms for a hug once. She had then fallen asleep on my chest whilst we were watching Orange is the new black, and for the first time in a while the soul crushing cloud of guilt that had invaded every corner of my being cleared slightly.

However, it was still there, and it frustrated me that others thought they could convince me otherwise.
"Look," Oli soothed "we all should of been looking out for her, and yet none of us did. We all made mistakes that night buddy."
"But you were there Oli," I snapped "at least you were there."
"I was pissed out of my face and dancing around the club" my friend chuckled sadly "if I hadn't then maybe I could of looked after her."
"Yea but that's different," I retorted "Jack saved her life, because he wasn't a complete and utter ass and went off with some random slut."
"Hey," Caspar defended "Jaden sounds nice. Besides, it takes two to tango."
"Shut UP Caspar," I growled, and Caspar blushed, his eyes full of hurt and shock. A lump formed in my throat because I had never seen him look like that, and it pained me that I was the reason he looked so vulnerable.
"Joe, you weren't the one who hurt her, it's no-"
"BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL BEEN OLI!" I yelled "I SHOULD OF BEEN THERE!"
"JOE!" Connor yelled "SHUT UP!!"

The room fell into shocked silence. Connor had never raised his voice like this, and never towards one of us. I just sat there, in shocked silence, the hairs on the back of my neck raised. Connors eyes were wide, and he was glaring with so much emotion dark creases were forming on his head.
"Stop sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself," he spoke coldly "because at the end of this, you weren't the one who got groped and felt up against your will at the back of a nightclub."
"Yea I know but-"
"But nothing,' he cut across me "You weren't the only one who was responsible for her protection, we all were. I know for a fact that Jack has been beating himself up about it, and so's Josh. At least it didn't get any worse, and she wasn't forced to do anything serious. But right now, you need to be a good friend because you care for her and not because you're doing it to try and redeem yourself."

He stopped then, sitting heavily on his chair and blowing hot air into his fringe. I sat there for a second, mulling over his words. Because he was right, and it frustrated me. I realised that the past few days I had been clingy and protective because I actually felt bad about what happened. I had been thinking about myself and redeeming myself instead of thinking about Robin. And I knew that I had to step it up and think about her, my friend who needed me right now. I nodded and stood up, looking at everyone around me. I realised how tired they all looked, worry seeped into the crinkles by their eyes and there eyes looked slightly empty, as if all the energy had drained from their bodies. I knew that they were like this because of Robin and I, and although I was grateful, I needed to get away from them. I turned and walked downstairs, blocking out the whispers that started and knocked gently on my closed door.

"Robin?" I whispered pressing my ear against the door, but I couldn't hear any sound. I thought she might of fallen asleep, and so i quietly opened the door. The first thing that was odd was that the room was in darkness for the first time in days. Shadows were elongated and in the corner the record player was still spinning, music wafting to my ear drums like smoke. The bed cover were balled up in the corner, and I just assumed that she was sleeping. I didn't clock the coldness until i walked around to get a better look. The covers were thrown off and no slumbering body looked back at me. I pushed the duvet, yet all I got was cold sheets and balled up tissues. Now that I noticed it, Her shoes were gone and so was her jacket. And when i couldn't find her camera and saw my window still open, I knew what had happened.

Robin was gone.

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HI GUYS!!!!!!

I'm really sorry that this chapter is so short and crappy, it's a filler one and it needed to be done as i am going to try and write and extra chapter this week. This is because it's my internet friend Morgan's birthday on the 20th (wassup girl!) so i wanted to publish a really good one for her birthday. I know this chapter isn't that good but I've had work experience all week which was amazing. I worked in Waterstones were they gave me as many free books as I wanted, so my collection had grown by 30 books in the past 5 days. One of these I did actually buy myself, and it's this really rare manga called wandering Son, which isn't published any more. I was so excited because on the internet these books can go into the hundreds and i bought this one for £12 WHICH WAS AMAZING!!!! So i got excited over that. Also thank you for 1.2k reads and over 60 votes, it means a lot. ANYWAY as soon as this is published I'm going to instantly start writing the next chapter.

Despite this being awful, I hoped you enjoyed it, please vote and comment I love hearing from you guys, and also thank you for adding this story to reading lists and giving this story more attention, It's so cool to see people actually liking my story that much. For us British folks, last week of school guys YOU CAN DO IT!!! I'll reward you guys with a extra chapter on Thursday.

OKAY BBBYYYEEE!!!!!