Nando's Girl

46: Tomorrow you won't be mine

ROBIN:

"What is it Joe?" I asked again, lacing my fingers in between his. I could feel his palms damp with sweat, yet I didn't pull away. I could sense that he needed this right now. However I couldn't ignore the feeling that had sprouted inside the pit of my stomach. My Boyfriend swallowed, his dismal look shimmering by the reflections of the water. His emotions were not readable. This scared me even more; We've always been able to read each other. Slowly, Joe sat down on the marble edge, and gently pulled me to sit next to him. I obliged and waited. Joe coughed-opened his mouth-tried to speak-then closed his mouth again.

He tried again. No sound. He eventually started rubbing the balls of his fingers over my skin, before finally opening his mouth and speaking his voice raspy for a reason I didn't know.

"The night we fought, I was so angry. In a way I'd never felt before. I went out to a bar..."

I felt my heart stop. No. No he wouldn't.

" And I got drunk. Oh my God did I get drunk. I was so stupid to even do it. If I hadn't then I wouldn't of met that stupid girl and I wouldn't of talked to her-"

"Joe I don't want to hear anymore," I begged quietly, the feeling of dread growing with every word.

"We started talking-"

"Stop it."

"She then took me back to my place. And then......then I-"

" Joe I don't want to hear it," I cut him off, trying to choke back the emotions. My hand, which was still in his grip, was burning white hot, and I wrenched it away. Repulsed, I backed away, not even caring about the tears already forming in my eyes.

"Robin I need to say it or I swear I will die," Joe continued, his eyes boring into my own. He sighed, pushed his shoulders back and exhaled.

"Robin. I'm so sorry. I-I cheated on you."

And there it was. The three words I never hoped to hear him say. Desperately, I clutched at my chest, trying to no avail to stop the pain that was seeping through my body like blood from a wound. Joe Looked at me, his eyes wide and full of a desperate yearning. I couldn't deny it, I could tell that he was sorry.

But that wasn't good enough. That wasn't enough.

Joe sprung up, stumbling towards me and trying to clasp any part of my body. He looked wild, and as he tried to grab at me a aura of slight insanity surrounded him. "Robin please, I've never regretted anything as much as I have with this. I mean, I flew half way across the world to tell you in person. Doesn't that show that I'm not all bad? Doesn't that show that I,Joe Sugg,The guy who would a girl for sex and then leave her like trash, care about you enough to do that?"

"Oh so that's supposed to make everything okay then?" I growled, deliberately boring my eyes into his. He didn't get the privilege of being the braver person. "you really expect me to go "WOW Joe you're so right, how stupid of me!" Do you really think I have no pride in myself to just forgive you that easily?" I could tell that I was getting out of control, the ever increasing pitch of my voice was a clear sign. Furious, I started to storm off, but I was stopped once again by Joe's grip. I could feel electric pulses coursing through my arm and I hated myself even more because it. Stupid heart. why do you have to be so damn fickle?

"I know what I did was wrong Robin," Joe rambled on, obviously desperate to say everything that he wanted to "and there is no excuse for it. If I could take it back I would, but there's nothing I can do to take it back." His breath hitched and I suddenly realised: