SANDY POV
"Hindi nga Seryoso? "Pagkadating na pagkadating kasi nila sinabi ko na agad.
"Baka naman nagloloko lang 'yun? Bakit naman magyayari yun, Well may possibility pero iba talaga eh. "
"I really don't know what to feel ah. Ano na balak mo"
Ako rin naman hindi ko na din alam kung ano pa bang dapat kong maramdaman Pag uwi ko ng bahay ay nadatnan ko si nathan na nag luluto and he looks happy?
Alam na kaya niya?
"Hi sandy tara let's eat , I cooked this for you " Wow and he cooked for me. Ganun na ba siya kasaya?
"No Thanks. But I'm already full. I'm Tired Than I want to sleep. I'm Sorry" Gustuhin ko man. Pero I really need to do this for the sake of his baby
"Hey, Sands Is there something Wrong? Why are you avoiding me " Umiling ako.
" Wala than. I'm just- I'm Just Tired Okay? " Paakyat na sana ako pero hinawakan niya ang braso ko
"I know Sands. I know there's a problem You can say it to me . I'm willing to listen Please?" Kita ko sa mga mata nito ang pag aalala. And I don't know kung anong pakay niya.
"WALA NGA SABI! MAHIRAP BANG INTINDIHIN 'YON? HA? AT TSKA KAILAN KA PA NAG KAROON NG PAKE SAKEN? Tsk? You don't fucking care. Ni hindi mo nga ako mahal di--"
"I loved you. I really do "
"Tapos may paganyan---What did you say?"
"I loved you " Oh Great.
"Yeah. Loved? Okay so what now. Ipapamuka mo nanaman saken na past na ko? I know Than. I already know. Now can I go to sleep? Cause I'm already Tired. Pagod na pagod na ko " Tapos umakyat na ko sa guest room.
Sometimes I really don't understand nathan. Minsan he acts like he still care, then sometimes he's not.
"And please can you do me a favor. Stay for being a worthless husband. Stop acting like a shit. Wag ka magpaka plastik hindi bagay."
Ayoko ko munang matulog sa tabi ni than. I need some space to think.
Pag pasok na pag pasok ko may naramdaman agad ako kaya pumasok ako agad sa CR.
There's something wrong like masakit yung tiyan ko.
Ano ba 'to. Ba't ang saket ng....
Oh no.
No.
It can't be.
Fucking shit.
AM I PREGNANT?
No. Hindi pwede, baka may nakain lang akong hindi maganda kaya nagsusuka ako ng ganito. Hindi pwede.Hindi pwedeng mabuntis ako lalo na't buntis din si dawn. Naiiyak nanaman ako ano nalang mangyayari sakin sa baby ko. Sigurado akong hindi 'to tatanggapin ni nathan.
"Hey Sands are you okay there?" Rinig kong tawag sakin ni than sinakap kong magsalita kahit umiiyak ako
"I-I'm O-okay shit !" Daaang. I can't barely talk.
"Fuck you're not okay Sands! Open this Goddamn door "He keeps on knocking the door.
"N-no. Im really okay, I don't need you leave me alone than. " Di ko napigilan, Napasandal na ako sa pintuan at umiyak
Kung sakaling buntis man ako. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.
" Talk to me, I'm sorry Please open the door " Bakit ba siya ganito. Naguguluhan na ako.
"NO. I SAID LEAVE THAN. Leave me alone " Ang hirap. Hirap na hirap na ako.
"I can't leave you here sandy. Gusto kong malaman kung ano nang nangyayari sayo. Fuck that" Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Sobrang gulo ng puso't utak ko.
"You can than. I know you can Please, I want you out of my life "
Liar. You're Such a Liar Sandy.
Nagulat ako ng biglang bumukas ang pinto, I saw him standing infront of me. I Look into his eyes. I see the sadness, The Pain, and The Guilt
"Tangina sands what happen to you." Ang Dalawang Kamay niya ay nasa balikat ko.
My eyes went big when i saw his tears.
He's Crying.
I can't look into his eyes.
"I told you just fucking leave me alone?, Why can't you just get lost. Hindi ba't gusto mong si dawn ang kasama mo? Now ako na mismong kakausap kala mommy. I'm giving you a freedom that you wanted." Hirap man akong sabihin 'to. Pero it's the best way.
I can't let him suffer and of course his baby, just because of me.
"No, Why are you acting like that" Sakin niya pa tinatanong to ngayon? Samantalang siya 'tong akala mo sinaniban ng mabuting espiritu.
"I just realized. Kung ipagpapatuloy natin 'to. It won't work, sasaktan mo lang ako. Leave than, I'm begging you"
"Sandy look at me please, Ano ba nangyayari sayo? " Napatingin ako sa mata niya.
Since he's not listening to me. Naglakad ako papuntang kama ko at tsaka humiga. Aakto nalang akong wala siya pesteng kwartong 'to.
If I'm really pregnant. Then my decision is final.
--
To be continued..
