Mrs Tomlinson

Chapter 57

Abby's POV 

Louis and I spent part of the day talking till Mason woke up from his nap then we spent the rest of the day having a family day. I know I wanted one. I'm sure that Louis wanted one too. I know he loves Mason and he missed him while he was in jail. I don't ever want him to go back. I missed him so much. I don't want to go through what I had to go through again. I was an emotional mess the whole time he was away. I'm honestly thankful that Niall was around to help take care of Mason. I know I couldn't have taken care of him when I was like that. I know if Niall couldn't do it I would have got Johannah or Harry to help me. I know either one of them would have loved to help take care of him. They both love him. Everyone does. I love Mason too but I just couldn't take care of him then. I know I wanted to but it was just too hard. I know it didn't help that Mason looks just like Louis. They look and act so much a like. I honestly don't know what would happen if Louis went back to jail. I know I would be an emotional mess again. I can't stand it when we're away from each other for more than an day. I know he feels the same way. Mason needs Louis around too. We all need him around. Things are hard around here without him and he knows that. I don't think he's going to do anything stupid again unless he's protecting me. He was protecting me that time too. I'm not even mad at him about it. There's not a reason that I should be mad at him about it. He was keeping Nick from raping me and hurting me. It was just worse since it would have been in front of our son. I hate thinking about it but it comes into my mind everyday. I can't help it. I know if Louis knew that he would be upset. I feel like I should tell him about it though. I honestly don't know how he would take it though. I'm sure it wouldn't be good. Maybe he would be surprisingly calm and help me. I just want to quit thinking about that day. It was horrible and I know we can't change it. I wish I could but I can't. I don't think anyone understands how much I wish I could change it. Louis might understand. I know he was upset about the whole thing too. I know Niall is the only person that knows exactly what happened. I don't want anyone else knowing though. Everyone else just knows that Louis went to jail because he beat up Nick but no one else knows why. I don't think Louis wants anyone to know what happened before either. I know I need to talk to Louis about me not being able to stop thinking about it. I know it's not a good think to think about. I'm either thinking about that or the possibility of me being pregnant or the chance of Louis going back to jail. It's starting to stress me out. Maybe I'll feel better when I tell someone. I hope I do.  I don't know what else to do.

Louis went back to work today. It's the first day back there in awhile. I'm sure that his friends from work are happy to have him back there. I know Harry is since they work together. They're always happy to see each other. I know they're really close. I'm happy that Louis went back. I'm sure he wanted to. I have to get used to it being just me and Mason home during the day again. I love Mason so I don't mind it. I hope Haley can come around again. I know I haven't seen her in awhile. She hasn't heard anything about what has happened. Well I didn't tell her. Maybe someone else did. I doubt it though. She might only know that Louis was in jail but probably has no idea why though. I want her to know but I don't want her to know what all happened. I don't want anyone else to know what all happened. I don't think Louis does either. 

I was downstairs with Mason playing with him in the living room. It's been awhile since it's just been me and Mason. There's always been someone here. Before Louis went to jail he was here then it was Niall then it was Louis again or Mason was at Louis' mum's. I know she loves taking care of him though. She would do anything for him like me and Louis would. I played with Mason then I looked up at the clock. I know Louis should be getting home soon. I hope he comes home on time. I want to talk to him. I know he'll listen to me. He's the love of my life and my best friend. I know I'm the same for him. I love him more than anyone knows. I know some people wonder how we're even together but I don't care what they think. We've been together for a couple years and I'm sure we'll be together for much longer. I picked Mason up and carried him into the kitchen. I put him in his highchair and started cooking dinner. I know I want to talk to Louis but I'm sure I won't get to till Mason goes to bed. I'm not mad about it. I just don't like talking about stuff like that in front of Mason. I know hes only one almost two but he's going to start realizing somethings wrong. Nothings really wrong I just want to talk to him about what I can't stop thinking about. It's been worse since Louis' been home. I know he's only been home a few days but I've already realized it got worse. I don't want him to feel bad when I tell him. I started cooking our dinner and the whole time I couldn't help but think about what happened. I hate thinking about it but it's like I can't stop it anymore. I don't know what it is that made it worse. Soon I heard the front door open and I know it's Louis. He walked into the kitchen and smiled a me. I gave him a small smile. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.