Blue Eyes

Chapter 6

"Looks like I'll be at the office until tomorrow morning. I wish I could be home with you. Sleep well." 

That was the text I had just received from Charles. We hadn't really talked about the time he said "I love you". Maybe he thought I didn't remember. I didn't even know he had feelings for me until he kissed me in his office. 

I guess people say crazy things when they're stressed.

"Well well well. What does a girl do when she's home alone and hungry?" I said to myself.

"Order pizza!"

After I ate almost an entire pizza (no shame) I put the leftovers in the fridge and started to run a hot bath. After it had ran for twenty minutes, I put my favourite smelling bubbles in. It smelled like warm cookies and flowers and everything good in this world. I smiled a little, but something didn't feel right. I just ate a bunch of pizza and now I'm taking a soothing bath. Those were like my favourite activities all in one night! Why didn't I feel right?

Eventually I decided to just fall asleep to some late night gossip show.

I woke up in a panic. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I reached over to the other side of the bed and remembered that Charles was still at work. I was alone and I didn't know what to do. I checked the clock. it was 3:02am. I ran around my home trying to calm my nerves. I finally stopped and looked at my long light brown hair. I hated it. I hated it so much. I had never hated it before but now i couldn't stand it. I picked up a pair of scissors and chopped of a strand, watching it fall to the floor before I actually realized what I was doing. I was still wheezing, trying to catch my breath. 

I put down the scissors with shaky hands and proceeded to throw up. At that moment it felt like the anxiety that I was feeling was ruling my entire life. I couldn't get away from it. I just curled up into a little ball on my living room floor and cry until my eyelids got heavy and I fell back asleep.

I woke up back in my bed. It was now 8:00. I turned over and saw Charles next to me. At the hospital we decided that he should start spending nights at my place just incase I needed help. Normally seeing Charles there would comfort me. Normally I would put my arms around him and cuddle him. Normally I would be happy and warm. 

Today I felt raw and cold. I just got straight out of bed and looked into the bathroom. The strand of hair that I had cut off was still on the floor. I got rid of it, and put the rest of my hair into a bun to hide the tuft from sticking out. I looked horrible. My eyes were red and swollen. The bags under my eyes were dark and moody. I didn't care how I looked. I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, and I left for the salon.

I walked in and made an appointment. There was no waiting list that day so I went and sight right down on the chair. 

"What can I do for you today?" A female hairdresser with red curly hair asked.

"I'm done with brown. I need something new."

"Okay, I think I know what you need." she replied.

I walked out of the salon looking like a whole new person. My light brown hair was now bleached blonde. I embraced my naturally wavy hair texture. My hair went down to my bellybutton. Well, all except for the little tuft. The hairdresser didn't even ask what had happened when she saw it. She just continued to work. That was nice. I didn't want any questions.