Summer Crushes || Dipper X Reader

Dipper Vs Manliness

You banged your head on the counter while a customer tried to decide what to get. "I like to get my Christmas shopping done early. Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?" I groaned hitting my head before looking up at him and pointing at the crystals. "Uh, how about these crystals?" I looked over at the door. "STAN!" I yelled to him as he walked past. "Ha ha! Looks like broken glass." Stan stood next to me looking at the man. "What are you, a cop?" The man wondered off. "Ooh! What is this new thing?" I groaned banging my head down and hitting it repeatedly. "Grunkle Stan." I heard the twins say as they walked into the room.  "Can we go to the diner? We're hungry." Mabel said as they punched their stomachs. "Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind." We all looked at each other. "Do you have this in another animal?" I rolled my eyes before looking at Stan. "I'm fine with locking him inside if you are." I jumped over the counter and grabbed my jacket. "Puma Shirt, panther shirt. Puma Shirt, panther shirt. Puma....Panther." I walked out of the shop.

I sat down in the booth and looked around the diner. "Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!" McGucket yelled banging his cup on the counter while Sheriff blubs ate his pancakes quickly having Durland point a speed device at him. "This town is getting weirder." I mumbled looking over the menu. "Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?" Stan asked making me and Mabel look at each other with wide eyes. "I got hit by a bus!" I looked over at Dipper then back to Mabel mouthing 'what?!'. "Ha ha ha ha! Hilarious!" Stan said looking at her still. "Thank you. Ha ha ha ha ha hee hee ho ho ho." She laughed. "You do split plates, right?" She looked around her. "Maybe." She made her lazy eye wink. "Wink!" Stan chuckled. "Great! We'll split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus two free salad dressings for the ladies, a small plate of ketchup for the boy." She wrote it all down before walking off. "But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!" Mabel said disappointingly. "With the fancy flour they use these days?! What am I, made of money?" He asked before some money poked out from his blazer. "Tap Tap." He said putting it back in. "Aww." I started drawing on the place mat. "Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester." I looked up. "Manliness tester?" Stan asked before Mabel added. "Beating?" They looked at each other before bursting into laughter. "He says he's....he says he... HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Stan said trying to get his words out but failing. "What? What's so funny?" I asked looking at them then at Dipper. "Oh, no offense to Dipper, but he's not exactly Manly Manington. Ha ha ha!" Mabel said laughing halfway through. "Hey! I am too Manly..manny or whatever it is you said." I looked at him and then at his sister. "Look, face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday....'incident''' I stifled my laugh thinking back to the day we found Dipper singing into a comb in just a towel. "You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation Babba?" Mabel asked looking over at Dipper who was bright red. "No. Heh heh. I wasn't. It's not important. Look, come on guys. I'm plently masculine. You see this chest hair?!" He said pulling down  his shirt and we all overreacted. "Put it away! Put it away!" Me and Mabel yelled together. "So smooth. My eyes!" Stan said laughing. "Aw Man.." 

I got up walking over to the machine with Dipper. "Fine, 'family of little faith.' Get ready to eat your words." He paused. "And a plate of delicious pancakes." Everyone turned to face us and he looked at the machine. "Alright, Dipper. Time to manhandle this....Man handle..." I smiled at him as he stared at the machine starting to sweat. "You can do this." I whispered to him. "And a one and a two..." Stan laughed. "Quit stallin!" I looked over at him glaring before turning my attention back to the machine. Dipper started tugging the handle and the lights started moving. The categories were, 'wimp, middleaged man, barley possible, man, manly man.' Dipper let go of the machine and it printed out the page. "You are a cutie patootie!''I giggled softly. "Oh, what? This thing must be broken. It's totally broken, guys. It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or-" I pushed him out of the way and cracked my knuckles. "It's rickety man, you shouldn't even." I started pushing the handle and the light went to Manly man. "YES! PANCAKES FOR EVERYONE!" Manly Dan said high fiving me.