The Beauty Of The Broken

The day I changed

~ wow it's been forever since I talked to you guys... Anyway I just wanted to say that in 3 weeks school will be in so I have no idea what my updates will be like. Just wanted to let you know so ehh... Anyway enjoy~

Edward hasn't been home in more than a month... It's really lonely... Actually I've cried myself to sleep this whole week.

I haven't heard from him.. I haven't seen him... My feelings for him are way too strong that I feel broken... I feel dead...

I want Edward... So bad... It hurts... I can't stop crying... I want him...

I lay in bed and cry curled up in a ball. The cold winters night doesn't help but make me shiver. With no warmth next to me as it snows I'm left alone... Cold by myself.

My eyes shut from tears. My eyes feel heavy and as soon as I shut them. I'm asleep. The tears stop flooding through and I'm silent.

Then I open my eyes to sun creeping into my room. I yawn (yet I still yawn at that...) And I get up and get dressed.

"Another day of work..." I make my waffles and hot chocolate and leave for work. Just like every morning.

I go to my office and then start my paperwork. I could tell the gloom in the office. Something was wrong. But I didn't know what it was.

During the month a lot of things happened... Mae's Hughes died... Maria Ross died... And I have yet to find Ed anywhere...

I'm getting really worried... I should stop thinking about it.im gonna worry myself to death.

But this whole month has been very gloomy since Mae's Hughes died... I go and stop by to get some pie every now and then. Alicia loves it when I come over to play around with them.

Im not really into having kids at the moment but I might try. Not sure yet.

I hear a knock on the door and I look over at the door.

"Come in." I sit in my chair and Roy Riza and Bradley walk in. The three of them have some flowers and a cake. I smile and look at them. Roy has a card in his hand.

"Aww thanks but I'm not in the mood for cake." I laugh out and they just look even more sad. Roy hands me the letter and I open it smiling.

'Dear y/n,

Hey babe. I'm sorry I haven't been home. It's been busy with work. Well we killed some homunculi so it's a start. And I found Hoinhiem he's the same as he was. An ass. I am hoping to be home in a few days. If I'm not... Well I will be home. I promise.

I love you,
Edward Elric.'

I cry and read the letter. I look at the three and then back at the letter.

"Umm... Y/n... Edward isn't coming back soon." Roy looks at me and I could tell he was upset.

"What do you mean?" I stand up and they all look terrified. I'm now mad and upset. I couldn't hold in my anger or sadness anymore.

"He has to do some more work. And I will have to go and help." Roy says and then I shout.

"So why can't I help?" I look furiously at them and Riza looks me straight in the eyes.

- flashback-

"I will protect you no matter what Riza." I walk into the darkness and I wave.

"Thank you." She sniffles as I keep walking.

- flashback over-

"Ok... Fine but give me details of everything he is doing." I sit back down and all my nerves. Riza smiles and the two men leave.

"If you go I have to go. You know that. Roy would never leave someone on the field alone in that sorta situation. So if Roy goes don't go with us. Please. It's to save both of us." Riza looks at me salutes and walks out. I smile and put my head down on my desk.

"Ok. I trust you Riza but you better not die or have anyone die." Riza was at the door and nodded.

-time skip to another week-

So nor Bradley Roy or Riza have been back since the time they said I couldn't help Edward. And still Edward and Alphonse are no where in Central.

I'm starting to think he left me... But then most of me knows he wouldn't. I can't take much of this anymore. I really can't.

The feeling of not knowing if you have lost your loved one or not is the worst. And since it's been a month and a week it's even worse.

I can't cry anymore because I have cried so much. My body can't even handle this stress. I haven't done any jobs since Elias. I don't know what to do... If he's not back in a few more days I'm going to find him.

-time skip a day later-

*Ring ring*

My phone goes off for the first time in a while. I look at it and pick it up.

"General y/n's office."

"Hello y/n this is the front office. You have been promoted to furher since Bradley died in an incident." I women says and my eyes look like the moon.

"Thank you for the information. Have you heard anything about Edward Alphonse Riza or Roy?" I answer and she sighs. I await her answer.

"Yes. Roy lost his sight. Riza was hurt badly. Alphonse is in his human body. And Edward is dead." The last part shocked me.

"... Thank you." I hang up and I throw everything off my desk and I run out the office crying. I run and run. Until I find myself in my house.

"Y/n?" I hear a familiar and gentle voice. I run past it and I go to the bathroom.

"Y/n! It's me Al." He opens the door to me puking. He rubs my back and comforts me. I keep crying and he helps me up.

"Why... Why did he die?" I manage to get out. Al looks at me and starts to cry.

"He wanted me to be human again..." He wipes his tears to look stronger and I ask him to get out.

Just because I knew him for a little bit and I fell in love with him so suddenly... Doesn't mean that I still don't love him. I will always love Edward. No matter what.

I clench my fist and punch the mirror. I smile. I pick up a piece of glass. I smile.

"Y/n are you ok?" Al shouts in and tries to open the door. I cry. Takin the shard of glass and I put it to my wrist. I can't deal living without edward. I just can't.

I take the last breathe I smile one last time. I shed one last tear. And I hear the door open to Alphonse. And I cut my wrist.

Al starts to flip out and he grabs me and runs out the door. I smile and I'm bleeding out.

"Please let me die." I say faintly. I'm loosing feeling everywhere and it's getting hard to breathe and keep my eyes open.

"No y/n talk to me." Al is still running to the hospital. I smile and my body goes limp.

"I just wanna die." I saw and I close my eyes. I can't breathe anymore.

I open my eyes and I see that I'm on my feet. Where am I?

"Y/n?!" I hear a voice. I turn and look around to find the voice that called me.

"Edward!" We hug each other and then kiss. I missed him... So much...

And now I'm with him forever...

I love you Edward.