Death of Love {Larry au}

10

{Louis' Pov}

"You kissed?" Niall screeched. Fucking hell, is he trying to deafen us? He had a massive smile on his face though so he's happy about it. I think.

"Okay, so Lou, you're a fucking idiot," Liam sighed. "but whatever makes you happy."

"No, this is so dangerous! Lou, don't you realise what you've done?" Zayn frowned. Seriously? He's lecturing me on this? Out of everyone, it's him?

"Zayn, if you're going to lecture me on this, you can fuck off." I stated.

"No, I get it. This is your decision but watch out. Either you or Harry will end up getting hurt." Zayn replied. "I'm just worried about you. This is the happiest I've ever seen you, I just don't want to see you upset."

"I know what I'm doing, sort of." I sighed. Truth is, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm finally happy, I don't want to fuck it up.

"This is the happiest I've ever seen you, I don't want you to get hurt." Zayn frowned.

"This reminds me of when you met Niall, just you saying this instead of me." I smiled, which made Zayn laugh.

"Yeah. It pretty much is." He laughed. He then ran his hand through Niall's hair, which caused Niall to look at him with loving eyes. They both smiled at each other, like they were speaking telepathically and Zayn rested his hand on Niall's shoulder. They were both smiling like idiots and they looked so in love. It's just sad what's happened, and how they became like this. I remember when I walked in on Zayn telling Liam about Niall and to be honest I was pretty hurt that he didn't tell me but I understood that he was nervous and that what had happened was pretty bad. I felt so sorry for him and then when he told Niall that he was a reaper, that was absolutely heartbreaking. Niall didn't talk to him for about a week but none of us blamed him. That's not something easy to look over. Then when Niall died, I wasn't there to see what had happened. Which I'm pretty happy about, in a way. I missed the drama.

"Lou, you listening?" Liam asked, which brought me back to reality.

"Nope." I replied, making him roll his eyes playfully with a smile.

"We're going for coffee, are you coming?" Liam asked.

"No thank you." I answered and they left. I'm now alone. I don't know if that's good or bad but yeah. Well, bit of both, I suppose. It gives you time to think, and that can be bad. I hate being alone with my thoughts, then other times, I love it. I don't know. I just didn't feel like going out but yeah... Zayn's right. This is dangerous. The whole thing. The danger I've put Harry in. How badly I've fucked up. He's such an innocent soul, so fucking perfect... Yep. Fucked up big time. I just want this to pass, you know? Just, the fear of Harry finding out about what I am. Like, bloody hell, I'm freaking dead! Okay, I need to stop worrying. Live in the moment, right? Well, I can't live... Joys of dying!

I guess there's a bright side, though... I haven't found one but there must be one! Yeah, it's really depressing. I guess it's just the fact that we're all doomed to face eternity trapped in reality. It's bullshit, in my opinion. Surely we suffered enough living. Especially if you've had a shit life, then oh my you're fucked. I haven't, I had a happy family and up until I died, I was happy. Which I miss. I haven't been that happy in centuries and I hate it.

It's just... Living on this planet for centuries on end, is tiring. It's shit but maybe that will change? Harry's a breath of sunshine, just a burst of fucking light that I needed. He's full of positivity and happiness and it's refreshing. It's much better than the depressing darkness that I've been in for centuries. It's just to good to let go, you know?

I might be being a bit selfish now, endangering him for my own happiness but I really like him and I'm so fucking happy! This is the happiest I've been in years and today showed me that. His innocence is breathtaking. His whole personality is beautiful. He is beautiful. He's the definition of perfect. His emerald green eyes, long brown hair, tanned skin, plumped lips... Fuck... The fact that he doesn't realise how perfect he is, though. How breathtaking he is. How fucking beautiful he is. That's painful. He deserves the world. He's to good for this world, to innocent. Really though, what did I do to deserve him? He's way too good for me. He deserves somebody better, and alive. Yeah, being alive might help. Somebody that has a beating heart, and can actually be with him with no worries. I just need to stop thinking about the future and actually enjoy myself. That seems much better than worrying about the future. Of course things are going to turn shit, it's not a fucking fairytale. I know things aren't going to be easy but I just need to get my head around that. It's just really hard. The one time I'm happy and I'm focusing on the future. I should really stop but it's just that constant feeling worry. It's just annoying.

"Lou, c'mon." Liam sighed sitting down next to me. When did he get back? "You said we'd talk, so."

"There's nothing to talk about." I stated.

"Stop being stubborn and just listen." Liam frowned. "Okay, last night, Zayn really shouldn't have said that and he did feel bad afterwards but today, he's just looking out for you."

"Yeah, I get that, it's just frustrating." I said.

"And then your reaction earlier, when you came back. Listen, if you like him, go for it. Don't worry about the future, just be happy. You deserve it." Liam went on. "Sure, a lot could go wrong but that's going to take a while. Just be careful."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Why? What for?" He asked.

"Just for saying that." I replied. "I really am at a loss with what to do. Like, I feel happy with him, I really like him, but I'm just so worried about what could happen."

"Lou, follow your heart. I know your mind is really logical, but always follow your heart, because your mind might know a lot but only your heart knows you." Liam smiled. "I remember when you told Zayn that. For a guy that gives good advice, you really don't take them."

"Yeah, I've never been good with taking advice." I sighed.

"Yeah, well, I'm being serious now; this is the happiest we've ever seen you, please don't fuck it up."

"I won't."

And for once I'm being serious.

A.N- I didn't really write much about Harry and Louis's date but there will be more fluff to come... <3

I started Christmas shopping today so that's cool. I have an Instagram account dizzy_royal_renegade where I post about updates and stories and stuff if you want to follow it. It's an alright account I guess. I stopped using it a while ago but I've just posted and I'm going to try to use it more. Have a nice day guys <3