Death of Love {Larry au}

32

{Louis}

I know something bad's about to happen. I can't shake the feeling. I know I can't see into the future, I'm not a witch, but I know something bad's going to happen soon. I don't like not knowing. I don't know what I can do to stop this feeling. I want to protect everyone but at the same time I don't want to see anyone.

After my parents left to go back to Hell I stayed in my Study thing, I just want to be alone. It's annoying because everyone checks in on me and they keep acting like I'm a china doll, that I'll break if they take one wrong step and it's getting on my bloody nerves. I just want them to leave me alone.

I haven't seen Harry in ages. I want to. He's the one person I actually want to see but at the same time I really don't. He's seen the parts of me that I don't want anyone to see and I know he's scared. He can deny it all he wants, I saw the fear in his eyes when he saw me. The fear in his eyes when he looks at me when we see each other here. It kills me. It really kills me. I just want to go back to the way we were. When he wasn't scared of me, when we were really happy. Why did I fuck this up? Why did I have to do that? Why did I put him in danger? I knew Sam was going to try something, why didn't I stop and do something about it? I should have. This is all my fault.

I sighed and downed about a quarter of the bottle of whiskey I'd brought. I just need something to help get rid of these feelings. Feelings fucking suck. I just want to be calm for one fucking minute. I can't do this anymore. You'd think after all these centuries I'd be used to this but it gets harder each time. Maybe I should just give Sam what he wants. It would be easier for the both of us. We wouldn't go in vicious little circles, it would all end.

I heard a knock on the door and then Patty came in. I quickly hid the whiskey under the desk before he could see it and I glared at him. "What?" I snapped. I feel bad about snapping at everyone but at this point I don't care and I can't help it.

"Listen, you arrogant son of a bitch," Patty started and my eyes widened in shock. I've never seen him this pissed before. "Okay, these last few weeks have been shit but there's no point taking it out on us. We're here for you, we're trying to help but when you keep snapping at us it gets fucking hard! If you want to push away your friends, go ahead, because that's what you're doing. You're pushing away everyone who tries to help and I don't know about the other guys but damn I'm so close to giving up. You're my friend, Lou. You always will be but until you get your head out of your arse and snap out of this, I'm done. You're turning back into the person you were. Don't you see that? You're my friend and I love you, but you're making this much harder than it has to be." Patty stormed out and I stood still for a little while. I couldn't find it in myself to care about what he was saying. I got the whiskey from under the table and downed it all, surprising myself at that.  

"That can't be healthy, y'know." I heard a voice say from the door. I put the empty bottle down and looked at the door, seeing Harry. He looked better than when I last saw him. He was wearing some of Liam's clothes, I guess they're a makeshift until this is all over.

"Can't kill me." I replied, though I wish it could. I saw Harry get pissed at my reply and I rolled my eyes. "You don't need to yell at me, I've had enough of that for one day." I don't want a repeat of Patty.

"I wasn't going to. I know you won't listen." He sighed and stepped a little closer. "I just wanted to see how you're holding up, you don't have to be an arse about it. I don't know what the hell's happened but damn, you're a dick. What happened to the guy I knew? The guy I fell in love with? Because you're not him. You're an arse. You're such a horrible person at the moment, you're so full of anger and it's so fucking shitty. I was just getting over the fact that you're dead and that you kept it from me for ages but when you're like this, I don't want to know."

"Then leave." I spat and I genuinely thought he was going to punch me after I said that. He just sighed and left. I can't say that that didn't hurt. I wanted him to stay, not that I would admit it.

I looked at the empty bottle and frowned, the anger of everything creeping over me. Why did I tell him to leave? I need him. I threw the bottle at the wall and had to contain the tears. I just wanted to cry. Just to completely break down. I just settled with throwing some stuff. I'll fix it all later, I don't care at this point. It was only a chair, a table and a few glasses.

Deciding I need another drink I went into the kitchen, hoping I wouldn't run into anyone. I don't want to snap at anyone but I can't help it and it fucking sucks. I just want to feel other things but anger but I can't. I made it to the kitchen without seeing anyone and got another bottle of whiskey. Maybe I can drink the anger away. I got back to my study without seeing anyone and smiled. That was easier than I thought it would be.

I used my powers to move the desk and chair back to it's usual place but left the glass scattered. I'll take care of that later. I sat on the floor in the corner of the room and opened the bottle of whiskey, downing it in a matter of seconds. I don't think that's a good think but I don't care. I put the bottle on the floor and closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall. I hate being alone.

After about five minutes I heard a few crashes and a scream. I instantly shot up but then my door opened and I froze.

A.N- This wasn't meant to be depressing I'm so sorry. I might actually have this story finished at around 40 chapters, so there might only be 8 chapters left of this. That's exciting. I'm not sure how it's going to end but that's something I'll think about when I get there.