Shawn Mendes Imagines

92- Heal It or Break It

Shawn and I had always had small arguments, it makes the relationship healthy but never have we ever experienced something like this.

The whole house was filled with screaming, shouting, shattering glass and profanities. A final explosion of things we had held inside of ourselves for weeks. It finally felt like the end, the end of something beautiful.

So here I am now, lying on my side facing the wall. The tears were sliding over the bridge of my nose and onto the wet pillow. Shawn was also lying on the bed, our backs against each other but not touching. It was silent. No shouting, no screaming just silence. Something we had not heard all night.

Whenever Shawn and I would fight we would never go to bed angry but that's all we ever do lately. We turn away from each other like we hate each other and we never wrap ourselves up in each others arms. I sniffle slightly trying not to disturb Shawn.

"y/n?" He voice was frail and broken and he sniffled also. I hummed in reply which came out a little shaky. I'm sorry"

"Shawn, please. I don't want to talk to you right now." I sighed sitting up straight so I could rest my bed against the headboards. He followed my actions but we started foreword not stealing a single glance of each other.

"I'm serious and I want to fix this. I take back all the things I said. I didn't mean it." I pulled the covers up to cover my cold arms.

"This isn't fair" I groaned frustratedly. "You alway say things you don't mean but they actually hurt my feelings. They make me doubt myself in our relationship and I never know whether I'm coming or going with you. You can either love me or leave me. It's your choice"

"Of course I want to love you, y/n, can't you see I'm trying" I shook my head. I felt a sense of 'calm before the storm' only meaning that an argument was about to blow up in my face. I stayed silent and so did Shawn. He finally turned to face me but I continued staring straight ahead.

"Do you hate me?" He whispered. Although I was mad, angry and upset there was no part of me that hated Shawn. Every inch of my body loved every inch of his and no fight could ever change that.

Some people say it's not meant to be if you always fight but others say that it strengthens the relationship and you can't help but forgive the ones you love. I personally believed the latter. I slide my hand across the space inbetween us and intertwined my fingers with his before tinting to him and placing my hand onto his warm, sticky cheek.

"I could never hate you." He sighed.

"Sometimes it seems like it."

"Shawn, don't say that!" I scolded. "I love you. You have complete control of my heart, heal it or break it all apart. It's up to you."

"I could never intentionally hurt you." I nodded. "do you believe me?"

"I want to but I can't. I'm blinded by love and I'm completely oblivious to things that are happening in this relationship which could potentially break us apart."

He sighed and turned back to face the wall. He blinked repeatedly and tears trailed down his face.

"It hurts me that you think that."

"We only have ourselves to blame"

"Let me change that." A glimpse of hope shining through by his voice. "Let me show you that I can be all you need, I promise." I tightly closed my eyes and tested my head on his shoulder.

"Okay" he kissed my forehead as I finally closed my eyes and cuddled into him.