Shawn Mendes Imagines

143- How Would You Feel?

Silence was the only think I could hear at the moment. His lips were moving but I couldn't grasp any words which were falling from his mouth.

To see him standing in my doorway was the last thing I expected to see at 1;30 on a Wednesday morning. He was dressed in sweatpants and a black t-shirt.

"Can I please come in." I shook my head and his shoulders slumped. "Listen, y/n, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave without telling you it just, it just-"

"It just what Shawn?"

"It just happened."

"Bullshit!" I cried out.

I closed the door open but his foot, which was clad in his adidas slides (and socks), blocked it from shutting.

"How would you feel?" He mumbled. I slowly pulled the door open slightly so all he could see was me.

"What?" Is whispered tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.

"How would you feel?" He lifted his hand to my cheek and caressed my cheekbone with his thumb. "If I told you I love you." He moved closer and the gap between us decreased.

Shocked was an understatement. I stared at him and he started to move his head closer to mine. My eyes flickered between his lips and his eyes before I snapped out of my daze and pulled away. No, it's not fair.

"No!" I repeated. "It's not fair."

"I didn't ask you if it was fair. I asked you how would you feel?"

"Well, I would feel pissed off, angry, infuriated- want me to carry on?" My voice weakened as the tears started to drip from my eyes.

"Please don't cry. I hate to see you upset" he wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"You didn't say that when you left. You didn't seem to care if I was upset or not, you just left. You left without saying a word and that's what hurt the most."

"I know, it was selfish"

"Selfish? Selfish." I exclaimed cutting him off. "Of course, it was selfish. It was like you forgot everything that had ever happened between us."

His eyes lowered to the ground and his cheeks pales in colour. I swallowed the lump which was forming in my throat before leaving a small silence between us. He didn't say a word; I made him feel guilty.

"Did you forgot when we sat in your car and we kissed each other and we couldn't stop kissing each other every other moment or the time when we were sat on Ian's roof and you have both of your arms wrapped around me as we watched the sun rise-"

"I remember" he mumbled.

"So,"

"So, I'm sorry but truth be told, I was scared."

"Scared?"

"Yes, I was petrified to have feelings for you. It sound stupid, I know, but I was scared in case you didn't feel the same way and I had ruined our friendship so I left without telling you hoping my that my feelings for you would disappear but they didn't, the grew stronger. I wanted you. I still want you."

My tears stopped as I looked into his glossy eyes.

"And I mean it. I really want you back in my life. No, I need you back in my life." My walls tumbled down as he quietly whispered the last part.

Being without him created a huge hole in my heart. A hole which couldn't be filled by anyone but him. It was almost as if him returning filled that hole but also made it large than it had ever been. It made me reasoned how much I had missed him and how much of an important part he was in my life.

"I'm sorry. Coming here was stupid. After everything I have put you through, thinking you would want me back was a bizarre thought." He shoved his hand back into his pockets and turned on his feet.

His feet hit the decking of the porch as he hopped down the stairs and down the pathway.

"Stay." I cried. "Please, don't leave me again." He froze to the spot for a minute or two before racing back to me and embracing me in his arms. His head buried into my neck as his arms wrapped around my waist lifting me off the ground. I tied into his shoulder and he rubbed his hands up and down my back.

"I promise I won't leave again, ever, and if I do you're going to be right be sides me" he kissed my neck as I held him closer to me.

A/N regarding updates etc. I have another 7 parts to update and then I will reach 150. I will upload them shortly after this part is uploaded and then I will start to take requests until I get to 50 were I will finally end this book, however, that doesn't mean I will not be editing and making my imagines better and not all of the final 50 imagines will be requests.

Love, K❤️❤️❤️