BELLE
Pagkagaling ko sa hotel kanina'y agad akong dumeretso sa bahay at naglocked dito sa kwarto ko. I was crying kanina pa, but then narinig ko ang alingaw-ngaw ng sigaw ni Daddy sa baba.
"Where's belle?!" rinig kong sigaw niya, ramdam ko ang bigat ng bawat yapag niya pag-akyat sa hagdan. "Get the key of her room!" sigaw niya nang nasa tapat na siya ng pintuan ng kwarto ko. Lalong nangatog ang tuhod ko, at halos maginig na ako sa takot. "Honey calm down." Sabi ni Mommy kasabay ng pag-bukas ng pinto. Nasa-unahan si Daddy, katabi niya si Mommy at nasa likod nila yung mga maids na may hawak ng napaka-raming susi.
"All of you, go back to work!" sigaw niya sa mga kasambahay na agad namang sumunod sa utos niya. Hindi ako nakatingin sa kanila, hindi ko kaya. Pinipigilan kong umiyak.
Naramdaman ko ang presensya nila sa paanan ng kama ko. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nagtama ang mga mata ko sa mga mata ni Dad. He's starring at me angrily, parang punong-puno siya ng galit sakin. Hindi ko na kinayanan, humagulgul ako sa iyak.
"Dad I'm sorry." Gusto ko siyang lapitan para yakapin, ngunit nanghina ako. I know he's very mad at me right now. My dad is a powerful man, at dinumihan ko ang kanyang pangalang na matagal na niyang iniingatan. Natapakan ang pride niya at most specially, masisira ang reputation niya dahil sakin.
"You're sorry?" he took a deep breath to control his temper. I know it wasn't a question, so I just kept my mouth shut while sobbing.
"You're sorry?!" he repeated it again, but this time he's yelling at me. "Hon please." My Mom said habang hinahawakan niya ang braso ni Daddy. Lalo akong naiyak.
This is the first time na nagalit sakin si Daddy ng ganto. He never shouted at me in my 19 years of existence. I'm a Daddy's girl, I admit that. I spent all my life impressing him and making them proud of me. But what's happening now?
"Dad... please forgive me." Nahirapan akong magsalita, my voice was cracked. I know he will forgive me. I'm his one and only princess, so I know he will listen, like what he always does.
"You're a spoiled 'lil brat!" he pointed his index finger to me. "We gave you everything. Everything Belle! How dare you do this to me, to us?!"
"Stop yelling at her Hun. Let her exp-"
"Shut up! Stop being too much considerate Bella!" Dad cutted my Mom. He yelled at her.
"You shut up Parker! She've done a mistake, but It's already given!"
"So what are we gonna do now? Tolerate her? Goddamn it Bella! Let her learn from her mistakes!"
"But this isn't the right way Parker! This isn't right!" She ran out of my room, she's crying. This all my fault. I never saw them arguing like this before. I never saw them yelling at each other. I felt really guilty. Seeing my Mom crying makes me weaker.
"See what you have done?!" Ayoko ng magsalita. Dad was right, this is all my fault.
"I gave you all. My trust, my everything. I thought you were my partner, I thought you'll be the one who'll take over my position when I get old. But you disappointed me." Kalamado ngunit may mga diin ang kanyang pananalita. It's like his controlling his temper. "You're such a disappointment Belle, alam mo ba yun? Malandi ka!" I know it wasn't a question at all, pinapamuka lang niya sakin how stupid I was. But the last words hurt me so much. Ang sakit marinig yun galing sa kanya, sobrang sakit. Malandi ako? Hindi yun totoo and will never be. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin, hindi ko matatanggap at kahit kelan 'di ko tatanggapin ang salitang yun.
I know he meant it. He hates me now. He hates me so much now, and I hate it that Dad hates me. I hate myself, I'm so stupid.
"Okay, tell me what happened." He took a deep breath again. He said it calmly. Tumingin ako sa kanya, nakaupo na siya sa couch sa tapat ng bed ko. He's calmed now. I wanna hug him and tell him that I didn't mean all of these, but hindi ko kaya.
"Dad" I paused, I don't know what to say. what will I tell him that can convince him and make him forgive me.
"What is it, tell me Belle." Hindi siya nakatingin sakin. Dumikwatro siya at hinilot ang kanyang sintido. Problemado talaga siya at alam ko, dahil 'yon sakin. Disidido na ako, paninindigan ko na 'to.
Inumpisahan ko na, itutuloy ko na lang.
"I'm pregnant Dad." Dirediretso kong sabi at humagulgol na naman ako. Ang sakit sakit na ng dibdib ko sa kapipigil ko ng iyak para makapag-salita ng maayos, but it's no use.
"Who's the father of that bastard?"
"I don't know Dad, sorry I don't know." Lalo akong naiyak. I heard him cussed.
"Whut?!" nag-angat siya ng tingin akin. "What the fuck Raeyna? How come that-" tumayo na siya sa pagkakaupo habang sumisigaw sakin.
"Listen to me Dad. I'm so sorry, I was just tricked by a random guy. Hindi ko siya kilala Daddy. Please forgive me Daddy. Please Dad. Please!" pasigaw ang pagkaka-sabi ko non.
"From now on, wala na akong anak. You're not my daughter anymore." Maglalakad na sana siya ngunit tumakbo ako at niyakap ang paa niya, na lagi kong ginagawa. "Dad please" he frozed but 'di niya ako tiningnan.
"We haven't raised a slut. You're a slut!" 'Di ko alam ano ba 'tong ginagawa ko. Tinatakwil ako ni Daddy, and it hurts so much like hell. Mas mabuti pang mamatay nalang ako. I didn't let go of his leg but tinataboy na ako nito. Pilit niyang pinipiglas ang kanyang paa para lumakad.
"Get lost! I don't wanna see your face ever again. Leave this house right now! Or I kill you." nabitawan ko ang kanyang mga paa sa mga salitang yon. Nanghina ako at tuluyan na siyang lumabas ng kwarto ko. I know he meant everything he said.
Ako? Papatayin niya?Ganon na ba kalaki ang kasalanang nagawa ko at papatayin nalang niya ako ng ganon ganon lang?
As I said, he's so powerful. He can do anything he wants. Ginagawa niya lahat ng sinasabi niya at lahat ng binibitawan niyang salita. But never kong naisip na kayang niyang gawin 'yon sakin.
Papatayin ako ni Daddy?
Akala ko I'm his princess?
Akala ko I'm the priceless gift he ever had in his whole life?
Akala ko I am their everything?
Akala ko he loves me?
Puro akala lang pala lahat. Gusto lang siguro niya ako kasi may naipagmamalaki siya sa mga business partners niya. Para may ibibida rin siya, at makipagsabayan siya sa mga malalaking tao na may mga matatalinong anak. Siguro, he only loves me kasi may maipagmamayabang siya.
Or siguro he doesn't love me at all. Mas mahal pa niya ang pangalan niya kesa sakin na kaisa-isa niyang anak.
All my life, I've done things perfectly. But now, sa isang mali ko lang. Despite of those hundreds of good things and achievements that I've done, mas bibigyang pansin pa niya ang kaisa-iang pagkakamali? He's so selfish. I don't wanna hate him, but I'm starting to hate him now.
Sabi ko na nga ba, this will gonna be the biggest mistake in my life.
