Quiet & Riot (Scomiche)

Chapter 22

When I finally calmed down enough I went back inside to tell Esther about what's going on between "Scomiche", as she calls it. She was ecstatic until the question I was anticipating arose. She asked if I had told him about "it".

"It", being?

Well... My mother's death, father's abandonment, and being a Kaplan foster child.

"Scotty... I'm sorry, but I think you're being a bit selfish. You don't think-"

"-Selfish?! How am I being selfish? This isn't exactly something people discuss on a first date. You don't even under-"

"-Let me finish!" She argued. "You're thinking so much about yourself and trying so hard to protect yourself that you aren't thinking about Mitch. In his mind-"

"I am TOO thinking about Mitch! How could you say-?!"

"-STOP interrupting me!"

I kept quiet out of respect for my little sister.

"Now, as I was saying..." she dropped her tone down a few notches. "In Mitch's head, you're this 17 year-old senior who's got a lot going for him. Good looks, good grades, popularity, 'best friends' with internet sensation Avi Kaplan... But that's not who you are. You need to be honest with him, Scott. You need to tell him the truth. He deserves it. You said it yourself, he trusted you without hesitation when you told him your reputation was a big rumor, so you're just gonna lie to him in return for his trust? Yeah, that shows how much you trust him."

She was right. Everything she said was right, and I suddenly felt awful. "Oh my god. What do I do Esther? He's going to hate me and it's all my fault!"

I felt my anxiety on the rise again, my breathing becoming heavy.

"Don't you dare do that to yourself. Give me a hug."

We shared a long embrace as I let my heart rate slow down.

After a while I spoke again. "I'm a mess, Esther. B-but I can't tell him... Right now is too soon and-and I just can't."

"Shh, I know Scotty. It's OK. Just breathe."

"I really like him though, Esther. I'm so lost."

She 'tsked'. "You'll tell him when you're ready to. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you."

-

Monday morning came around before I could even blink. I had completely disregarded my mountain of homework over the weekend and once again found myself dreading going back to school.

On a more positive note, I couldn't wait for my 4th period show choir class. Show choir is the only class I'm actually good at so it always puts me in a better mood from my previous class, which is math, that I'm currently failing. Also, Mitch Grassi being in that class isn't so bad either...

I couldn't get Mitch off of my mind ever since our date on Saturday. We really hit it off and I enjoyed myself so much that I'm anticipating seeing him again. But what will I say? He's very quiet, especially around other people, but I don't want to NOT talk to him. We texted a bit on yesterday but he eventually had to tell me he was busy studying and would see me tomorrow.

And then there was the issue of the other girls and boys who worship me at Martin. How would I get them off of my back so I could talk to Mitch? Maybe during lunch I would attempt to make a great escape away from my table with Ben and Jeremy to sit with Mitch and Kirstie.

I started my motorcycle and took off. I would be late for my first period class, but what does that matter? The school-year just started and I already know I'm going to fuck it up and fail this damn grade again. I sighed and let some of my stress melt away as I zoomed through the neighborhood. I loved riding because of the stress-release it provided for me. Michael had gotten me my first ever bike for my first birthday as a Kaplan-Hoying, almost four years ago, and it was the perfect release during what was the most stressful year of my life.