the model

thirty four

"How are you?" We blurted out at the same time. 

"Please, go first." He said. 

"Louis Tomlinson, are you being nice to me?" I gasped and pretended to be shocked. 

"If you keep acting like this, I might not be." He chuckled nervously, as if he wanted it to be a joke but it was also the truth. 

I placed the drinks that were in my hand onto the little pillar closest to me. My hands started getting really cold. "I'm okay. I've been better." I answered his question. The last part slipped out from the force of habit and I could see it hurt him. 

When I said it, he slightly winced. Like my words were knives and they were penetrating his skin. Then, he quickly looked down and placed his hands behind his back. 

"And you?" I asked, trying to get past the awkward silence. "How are you, Louis?" 

He looked up. A glint of relief crossed his eyes. "I'm good, I'm good." His first answer seemed force. It seemed like the second one was a reassurance to himself. My heart felt heavy. 

"Well, I should go give Natalie her drink before she chokes from eating too quickly." I grabbed the drinks off the pillar and lightly laughed. 

"Yes, please," He raised up his hand and gestured towards Nat, "I don't want to keep you from your friend." He lowered his arm and our eyes caught each others. His eyes were slightly turned up at the end from his forced smile. 

I gave a small nod and a 'bye' as I turned away from him and walked to my table. I didn't want to leave but I felt the need to. I felt the weight that was on my heart be lifted but it was still there. Still hurting. 

Once I sat down, I turned around looking for him. He already disappeared. "Long line?" Natalie asked before reaching for her drink. 

"No." My voice low. I turned around again, my eyes scanning everywhere. I felt... lost. Knowing that Louis was around me but he wasn't around  me, haunted me. I quickly turned back facing the table and sighed heavily. 

"Whats up, babe?" Nat asked, her question genuine. 

"Nothing." I mumbled although I tried not to. 

Natalie crossed her arms and looked at me. "Alexis, stop.. fricking  lying." I laughed at her attempt to not cuss because there were old and young people all around us. 

"It's nothing, don't worry about me." I lied through my teeth. 

"Well, it looks like you saw your lover boy." She mumbled before taking a sip. I felt my eyes grow wide and she caught it. "Oh, my god. He's here." She placed her drink on the table and whipped her head around, looking for him. 

"First off," I felt like I had to defend myself, "I don't love  him. It's just a crush. Secondly, I don't care if he's here." 

"I smell bullshit." Natalie blurted out. An old lady sitting at the table next to us scolded her with a "hey, language!" Natalie apologized before talking to me again. "I smell bull-doodoo." Nat said with such pride. 

I groaned before throwing my head back. "Go find him." She patted my leg. I shot her a questioning look. "What?" I scoffed at her command. 

"Go find him." She shrugged. 

"Did you not just witness me cry, scream, eat twice my weight, and sleep for like two weeks over this guy?" I lightly laughed, surprised by her words. 

"Yes, I did. Now, go find him." She plopped a pigs-in-blankets in her mouth. 

I stared at her. The way you'd stare at someone who said that they decided to quit their job and become a homeless person by choice; like their crazy. My eyes were wide and eyebrows literally knitted together before they relaxed. "You invited him here." I didn't even need to ask if I was right. Of course I was right.