the model

forty four

"Alexis!" Louis called out to me as I was about to shut the door of his home.

I rolled my eyes, let out a long groan, and walked back into his house. "What?!" I yelled, annoyed with him already.

"Where are you going?" His whiny voice trailed out of his bedroom and into the hallway.

I slung my purse over my shoulder and let my feet stomp into his hardwood floors. Loud thuds echoing down the hallway. I placed my hand on his bedroom door and pushed it open. "I told you already, Louis." I let out a quick breath.

"But where are you going?" Louis asked again. His head laying on his pillow, his eyes closed.

"I'm going to the kitchen." I monotonously replied.

"The hospital?" Louis questioned, he must've not heard me clearly because I don't know how he got 'hospital' from 'kitchen.'

Louis immediately opened his eyes and looked down at his body. His hands flying up and down his chest, arms, and head. His comforter making small cackling sounds as his hands ran over it. "Why?" Louis frantically asked. "Is everything okay? Am I bleeding? Did something happen to you? Come over here let me look at you." Louis held out his hands motioning for me to walk towards him.

I looked at him and shook my head. "No, everything is fine, Louis. I said I was going to the kitchen." I placed my head against the door and heard a soft thud as I made contact with it.

Louis let his hands drops to his side. You could hear the air escape from under his blanket. Soft whooshes were heard alongside his sigh of relief. "Oh, okay. Sorry, the medicine really fucks with my brain." Louis whispered.

I nodded my head, not wanting to say anything more. I walked out and slowly closed the door.

Louis has been taking so much medicine and painkillers that sometimes it makes him act crazy. Well, not crazy crazy, but whiny, annoying, needy, baby type of crazy. It was around noon by now and Louis' sleeping pills were still affecting him since he took them at such a late hour.

I called the hospital earlier this morning, wanting to ask what exactly all of his medicines were for but they told me that they needed his insurance card. I spent a good half hour quietly moving things around Louis' room as he slept. I wanted to grab a drink of water before looking for it, hopefully, he'd be asleep by the time I came back.

And by the time I came back, just as I hoped, Louis was asleep. His soft snores made me stop every so often as I walked into his room to look over at him, a small smile forming on my lips.

I didn't know where he put it so I had to go through the majority of things his room. I went through his cabinets, his drawers, his nightstand, then, finally, I went into his closet. I looked at the way top and there were boxes that were labeled with tape on them. Portfolio. Adidas Comp. Sizing. Baby Photos. Medical Shit. And just like that, I found it. I made myself a mental note to pull down that box labeled 'baby photos' and go through them.

I slowly brought the box down, crisscrossed my legs together, and opened it up. There were hundreds of loose papers. Forms from different hospitals, clinics, institutions. My eyes skimmed as much as I can before I had enough. Louis had admitted himself into many rehabilitation centers before. He tried to get clean.

My hands opened, papers spilling out of it. Light whooshes were heard as the papers flew down, scraping the floor. My jaw literally dropped. I haven't known Louis that long, just a few months, but I know that if Louis needed help that it must have been serious. Louis' snores snapped me back into reality.

Quickly, I gathered the papers up and set them in a pile next to the box. I pulled out more papers, more forms, more cards, until I saw a folder that was labeled "things to show hospitals." I chuckled at how blunt Louis was even in writing. I opened it up, grabbed his insurance card and a few more things that the hospital might need.

I was about to place the folder and the rest of its contents back into the box, but something caught my eye. I looked over at Louis to make sure he was still asleep. I couldn't see him, but his small snores were audible. I slowly placed the folder on the ground next to the pile of papers. I reached into the box, wrapped my hand around it, and pulled it out.

A small string was hanging out of it. It was a journal. I let my fingers wander over the cover and the binding. It resembled the feel and look of a leather cover, but it wasn't. I brushed my fingers over the string that was wrapped around it, closing it shut. I looked up at Louis again. Fearful that he would wake up and catch me.

I picked up the string and started to unwind it. The more I took it off, the more I was able to see the pages. You know when you have journals that you had to write in elementary school? Kept them all in a composition book? Have you ever noticed the way that the pages that you've written on become wavy at the ends? They're not straight as the rest of the papers that haven't been touched?

Like a new book that you bought at the bookstore. It's all close together that when you lay it down it stays shut. But once you open it, start reading it, and turning the pages, and decide to place it back down. A few pages are sticking up and it's no longer its straight, flat self.

That was like Louis' journal. The front half was crinkled up—written on—while the other half was untouched. After unwinding it all, I paused. My heart started beating faster, harder. Like at any moment Louis was going to wake up, but I still heard his breath snoring. That didn't help me though. I still felt anxious. Still felt worried, paranoid, scared.

I took a deep breath.

The sound of my heart, in my ears, slowed down. The thuds weren't as loud. I opened the book. On the front page, in a big, messy handwriting, was my name. Alexis Smith. My fingers ran over the ink, feeling the depth that the pen made in the pages.

I heard rustling coming from the bed. Out of panic, I pushed myself towards the bed and laid down. Making my body as flat as I can. I looked at my hand and noticed the book was still in. I looked left and right before deciding to slide it under the bed.

"What are you doing?" Louis' voice made my heart stop.

I slowly got up with my head hanging low.

"What the fuck?" I snapped my head up as Louis spoke.

Thank, God. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw that Louis' eyes were still closed. He was sleep talking. I laughed to myself as I saw the way Louis scrunched up his face in annoyance.

I lowered myself back onto the ground. I put the papers back into the box, put the box back into the closet, grabbed the journal, and tiptoed out of the room. I walked into a guest room that has barely been breathed in, opened a window, and opened the journal back up to the first page.

A/N: 

Another chill chapter. I have some new things (the way the chapters will be looking) for the next few chapters ;) I hope you'll like it!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

for an update: 100 reads, 60 votes, and 30 comments. 

BTW, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT DADDY PAYNE?? I mean I knew he was daddy direction figuratively but not lITERALLY. But still, us, as a fandom, should not send hate/rude comments to Liam OR Cheryl. Because it is their life and they are adults. We should send love, support, and other nice stuff. Be nice to be nice :) 

have a great week! 

love u cuties xx