the model

forty five

I let my fingers linger at the bottom of the page. Slowly rubbing the ends between them, making them damp with the moisture. I took a deep breath, gave myself a pep talk, and turned the page.

May 17, 2016.

I saw someone today. Instantaneously, I felt an attraction towards here. I didn't even see her face, all I heard was her voice, and my heart jumped in my chest. Her name is Alexis something. She's a feisty one. I was being my usual self but she wasn't afraid to tell me off. Something no one has ever done. It stirred feelings that I've never felt before. I was angry, upset, hot, astonished, and so much more. I started to question her. Asking if I made her wet, if she was hot for me. I could see it in her eyes. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her. Then her jaw dropped, and I was so close to losing it. Her perfect little mouth...

I had to leave in the middle of it. Her being there, though I just met her, was pushing me over the edge. I wanted to yell at to quit staring at me. Yell at her for stop being so argumentative. I wanted to grab her face, plant my lips on hers, and kiss the shit out of her. Who the fuck was she?

My heart was beating out of my chest. The way Louis talked about me, the way he explained how he felt around me was news to me. I was only on the first page and I started to sweat in anticipation of what was to come. I started to chew on my lips nervously but now it was becoming raw and started to hurt. I flipped the page.

June 1, 2016.

It's been almost a week since I saw her. I forget about this stupid journal, honestly. I don't even know why I bought it. I think it was because I needed to be able to say what I feel and think around her. But what the fuck am I supposed to write when my thoughts are all over the fucking place and it aggravates the shit out of me?

June 14, 2016.

The fucking boss man thinks I'm not "experienced" enough to work a night shoot with the other models. The fuck does he know?

But I saw her today. God, she looked great. She wore this long-sleeved shirt that when she crossed her arms it made her boobs fucking pop. I couldn't help myself. I kissed her. Her lips were as soft as can be. So sweet and eager for my own. She's been leaving her pretty little mouth open too much around me that I could not help but kiss her.

I felt heat rise up to my cheeks. My chest was burning with embarrassment, a little turned on, to be honest. I turned the next page and all of that immediately disappeared as I read the first line.

June 28, 2016.

Way to fucking go, Tomlinson. You just made a bigger asshole of yourself in front of Alexis. You showed her your ugly, drug snorting ass at the club tonight. And to make it worse, you fucking chased her out! Probably scared the crap out of her. I need to get my fucking act together.

Then, on the way bottom, in different ink showing that it was from a different day. Louis wrote:

Listen here. You've done this before. You've successfully done it. Just do it again. You'll be fine. Just quit it.

I closed the book, my finger holding the page that I left off. I shut my eyes and thought about this night. The night that I couldn't hold my pee and walked into the men's bathroom and saw Louis surrounded with by two girls who were high out of their mind. Louis yelled at me saying that "I didn't see nothing" and ended up chasing me outside and pinning me against a wall. I continued to read the next page.

July 16, 2016.

Had dinner tonight with her. Her ass looked stunning in her outfit. Asked her for help, she said no. Fucking hell, amiright? I even fucking begged her and she said no.

July 17, 2016.

Going to get drunk. Feeling like absolute shit today.

Louis wrote that sober, because the next entry was in a different pen and was written all over the place.

Did you know I had work today? Sober Louis, what the fuck did you think accepting a shoot that started at eight in the fucking morning, mate??????

I laughed at how stupid Louis sounded drunk, also at the excessive question marks.

She called me though. Her voice was sweet, soft but cold. Like she didn't want to talk to me. I admit, it hurt. But I'm Louis fucking Tomlinson, so who cares? You know what. I'm going down there. Fuck Alexis.

Then, another entry. Another pen. Another style of handwriting.

Got mad at her. Served her right though. She was a total bitch to me so it's only right if I am a total jackass to her. Don't know exactly what happened because I was drunk out of my mind. But blurbs came back. I was speaking to a crowd, Alexis was yelling at me, then I told her to go fuck herself and then fell asleep. Seems about right though, knowing myself.

Next thing I know I'm in her car and then I'm in her apartment telling her off and how she gets me hard. Then we fuck. She was great. So. Fucking. Tight. Greatest fuck I've had by far. Her body was amazing. Boobs so perky that they filled my hands. Skin so soft it was like she had oil on her skin. Round 2?

July 20, 2016.

Alexis took me dress shopping today. Well, for her not me. I sat there and told her if it was a yes or no. I was like a judge on Britain's Got Talent or something. I don't care about the other dresses she wore, but the last one. The red one. It fit her in all the right places. Hugging her waist, caressing her breast, an open back that closed right above her ass.

If it wasn't for David I would've fucked her in that dressing room. But Alexis probably wouldn't have been quiet. Then she snapped at me. I don't fucking get her. She's crazy, honestly. She's confusing. But she's hot.

I scoffed out loud as I read the last paragraph. This little shit is so rude. Or was. I don't know what to think anymore. I closed the book, hid it in a drawer, and walked out to the kitchen. I grabbed myself a bottle of water, sat down on the couch, watched a show and let myself soak in anger from Louis' words. But I forgot about it after a while of watching Modern Family.

"Alexis?" Louis' voice called out.

My eyes were wide, bugging out of my head. My hand was frozen in front of my mouth as I was about to drink water. I turned off the TV and looked in Louis' rooms direction. "Yes?" I squeaked. 

A/N:

Hey guys! So, the next few chapters (one or two) will be formatted like this. Where there's Louis' entry and some thoughts/actions by Alexis. 

If you remember what entry was from what chapter, comment it! Let's see who the real fans are. Just kidding! haha. 

Also, if I were to write another book but it wasn't about 1d, like an actual book, would you guys read it? And I  want your honest opinion, because I know that some people only read fanfics, and that's not a problem! I'm just curious :) don't be afraid to say no! I won't get offended by it haha.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

for an update: 100 reads, 60 votes, 30 comments.

hope you are having a great week so far!

love u cuties xx