The rise and fall of yoully

After Party

Lilly:

I'm soo tired but I can't go to bed yet. My place officially looks like a trash truck came and dumped the neighborhood trash it collected in my apartment. Yousef and Derek are here helping me, they're such good friends. Kyle and nada went home because they have a lot of work to do tomorrow, whereas I think I'm going to chill or go to the movies. Should I ask Yousef if he wants to go? He probably wouldn't though because let's be honest the time he would have to spend with me he could spend it with Alycia and truthfully if I was in his position I'd choose Alycia, she mad fine man. Speaking of Alycia, I didn't see her leave and how come Yousef didn't leave with her?

L: "thanks for staying behind and helping me clean boo, I really appreciate it"

Y: "anything for you girl"

L: "when did Alycia leave? She must have left early for me to not realize"

Y: "umm she left half way through the party, she told me to tell you 'sorry for leaving early and she'd make it up to you somehow'"

L: "its fine I understand she doesn't have to apologize. How come you didn't go with her though?"

Y: "well I promised you I'd stay till the end, not like the other day at Swoozie's place"

L: "you could've went; I wouldn't have been THAT mad. But why did she leave so early though? Nothing happened between you two right?"

Y: "no, no nothing happened but she went home to finish packing for tomorrow"

L: "tomorrow? Are you taking another trip together?"

Y: "sort of, I decided I want to move back home and live with my parents in the new house since it's completed; and Alycia will be coming with me"

D: "hey um Lilly I think I left something in my car I'll be right back"

I was too shocked to respond back to Derek. I knew he was trying to give me and Yousef some alone time and I appreciated that. My emotions are all over the place right now. I don't know what to say to Yousef. Should I tell him to not go? But I can tell he's not happy here and I don't want to be the reason why he's unhappy. But I can't live without him, I literally moved to L.A. because he promised me he'd be there for me. He's the only true friend I have here, plus he's he only one who can make me laugh till I'm about to piss my pants. And he's the only one who I genuinely care for. He's been with me through thick and thin and has helped me get back up every time I fall. He's literally the person who pushed me more than anyone to do YouTube and is the reason I kicked depressions ass. How can I live without him? OH MY GOD I think I care more about Yousef more then I care to admit, I like him, I like him a lot.

Y: "Lilly are you still there?"

L: "yeah I'm here, I was just lost in thought. So you won't be in L.A. anymore?"

Y: "no I'm probably never coming back. It's been a rough year for me"

L: "I understand, I do, and I wish you all the luck in the world in finding your happiness"

Y: "that's it?"

L: "what do you mean?"

Y: "no 'I'll miss you' or 'don't go' or anything? for real Lilly?"

L: "you want the truth? Well the truth is I don't want you to go because I like you, a lot. You're the only person who makes me happy and I can't stand the fact that you're leaving me, even though you promised you'd never leave me. And the fact that I won't see you again, or not as much as I do now. But there's nothing I can say or do that will change your mind. You have an amazing girl and you're starting in two films this year. You have so much too look forward to in life, and so do I. so yes, of course, I'll miss you 100% and I hate that you're leaving but its you're decision."

Y: "wait...you like me?" he said so soft and slow.

I can't believe all he herd was that! I sat there telling him how much I'll miss him and all he picked up on was that I like him! I know I talk fast but that's never been a problem between us.

L: "YES! I freaking like you, I dint know it before or I tried ignoring it but lately all I can think about is you. But what difference does it make you have a girl already and she's ten times better looking than me"

Y: "LILLY! I've been telling you I had feelings for you since New York! And every time I asked you out you'd reject me. Now that I have a girl who makes me happy and actually likes me and for the first time ever have my life planned out you admit you like me? It took you a full year for you to realize this? I honestly don't know what you want me to do"

L: "do whatever you want, whatever makes you happy. If you're happy then I will be too. I know it's too late for us and yes, it is my fault but I had to tell you the truth. I couldn't stand the fact that you'll be leaving and you'd never know the truth. And I know this is all sudden and I know its horrible timing but..."

Just than Yousef grabbed me and kissed me so hard. I literally felt like my whole body was melting. But this kiss wasn't the sweet type of kiss nor was it the I'm mad at you type of kiss, or the I like you too kiss. It was more like an it's the end of the world and I'll never see you again type of kiss. My mind was all over the place, my heart felt like it was about to pop out of my chest. I could push him away but at the same time I don't, I've always wanted him to kiss me. I was weak and he had complete control over me.

After what seemed like 5 seconds but in reality it was more like 2 minutes Yousef pulled away so that we can both breath. That kiss was just WOW. I didn't know what to do or what to say to him, just then he spoke up.

Y: "I'll always have feelings for you Lilly but my decision is made and I'm happy. I promised myself nothing you said or do will change my mind and I plan to stick by that promise even if it will kill me to leave you. I'm finally happy Lilly and I don't want to lose that happiness when I just found it. I'm sorry but I'm moving back too New Jersey with Alycia in a few hours and there no going back now. As much as I hate leaving you, I have too. I gave you so much chances to be with me Lilly, why today out of all days? I really am sorry Lilly but it's a done deal. Stay safe and find your true happiness, you may tell yourself that you're happy but you're lying to yourself. Don't hustle too hard Lils, you deserve a break once in a while. Who knows we might see each other someday in the future but for now, I have a plane to catch. Goodbye Lilly."

And with that Yousef Erekat, the only person I ever truly cared about, walked out of my life. Forever.