The rise and fall of yoully

Can't Do This Anymore....

yousef: 

"Arial, did you choose a movie?" I said to Arial as I emptied out the popcorn into a bowl.

Tonight, was family movie night which Arial loved and it was her turn to pick the movie. She spent all day setting up the living room so that we would be comfortable during the movie. I think she brought every pillow and blanket in this house. But she's happy and that's all that matters.

"I chose Moana!!! Jasmine said it's a really good movie!" She said as she jumped up and down on the couch. Wow she doesn't have any sugar in her yet and she's already hyper; tonight's going to be a long night.

" I like that movie! Good pick" I said as I high fived her. To be honest I haven't watched the movie yet but she doesn't have to know that.

"I'm going to tell mommy that we're ready" she said as she ran to Lilly's office.

Arial finally calls me and Lilly mommy and daddy and each time she says dad or daddy I swear my heart would explode of happiness. When she first called me dad I remember feeling sad because no matter how much time I spend with her or how much I spoil her I will never be her real dad.

Her real dad was my best friend who was the happiest man alive when he found out he was going to be a father. I remember Lauren and Alex calling me and telling me I had to fly back to LA because something big happened. I was scared shitless because I thought something happened to Lilly because of me but when I got to the apartment I saw Alex jumping up and down like he won the lottery. That's when I found out he was going to be a dad and I would be the Godfather. That was the happiest moment of my life and at the time it was the only thing that got me out of a dark and gloomy time.

I was still reminiscing about the good old days when Arial came back into the living room but she seemed upset.

"What's wrong sweetie" I said as I hugged her. She seemed like she was about to cry but didn't want to in front of me.

"Mommy said she's really busy and can't watch the movie with us" she said looking at the floor.

Lilly has been drowning herself in Work lately and I can't say or do anything because each time I do we end up arguing and getting into a fight. I've learned to keep my mouth shut and let her learn the hard way that work will never finish and Arial won't stay young forever.

"Aw man! Well I guess it's going to be the two of us than!!" I said as I tried tickling her to loosen up her mood which always works. She's a ticklish girl lol.

"Come on. Let's start the movie, maybe mommy will join us when she's done with work" I said as I sat down in the couch and made myself comfortable.

"Okay" she said reluctantly as she cozied up to me. Once she was settled I pressed the play button and handed Arial the bowl of popcorn.

Toward the end if the move I thought Arial had fallen asleep but when I looked over at her I saw that she was crying. Maybe she didn't like the move?

"What's wrong sweetie?" I said as she shook her head and wiped her tears away.

"Nothing" she said and continued watching the move.

"so why are you crying?" I said.

"because I'm sad" She said

"Talk to me sweetie. I'm your dad you can tell me anything" I said as I brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

" mommy Doesn't like me" She said

I was shocked. Why would she think that? How am I supposed to reply? "Of course she does!! You're our baby girl and we both love you dearly. Why would you think that?" I asked confused

"Because she doesn't do anything with me. Jasmine told me her and her mom play dolls together every day and every Friday they go mother daughter days. My mom is always busy when I want to do something " she said

"That's because she has so much work to do. I'm sure she would love to have a girl day with you. How about this when we finish the movie we'll talk to her and convince her to stop Working so much so you two can do girly things" I said

"Okay" she smiled

When the movie finally finished, I looked over at Arial and saw that she was fast asleep. My poor baby girl. I hate seeing her sad. I carefully picked her up, trying not to wake her, and took her to her bed. Afterwards I picked up all the blankets and pillows and put them back into their spots. This girl really brought every pillow in this house. I also decided to do the dishes while I'm at it and clean up a little. While working, I debated whether I should go talk to Lilly. I really don't want to argue with her but I can't do this. I can't go a full year with a woman who only cares about work and not her family. Arial deserves parents who will love her unconditionally, and show her how much they love her. Me and Lilly are always working and sometimes we forget that we're parents. Maybe we're not fit to be the parents Lauren and Alex hopped we would be.