paper cranes | ✔️

xx.

it's only a crush.

which is why i can like other people.

and then again, it's called a crush,

because they'll break your heart

and you have to end up moving on anyways.

it's worse when there's two guys, though.

when you definitely know neither of them like you back.

✕  

"Do you think I'm trying too hard?" Mae asked softly.

"No, I don't think you're trying too hard. He's just not noticing your efforts," Moni replied.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm convinced that Minhee likes Jasper too, and I don't know whether I should go for it anymore. To be honest, I don't even know if I like him anymore."

"If you don't think you like him, you probably don't. If you were really serious about him, then he would be on your mind 24/7."

"But you know what I'm talking about, right? Like you see someone, fall in love with them, and forget them over the weekend, but as soon as you see them, you start liking them again."

"Yeah. It's happened to me."

"How'd you finally feel when Ryan confessed to you?"

"...you do know, I was trying to get over him when I found out that he liked me. And I had been liking him for so long. It just happened."

"You got lucky," Mae scoffed without any malice. 

"I know. And yes, that's how it works. Sometimes you forget them, and then you end up liking them again. Other times, you move on but then go back to the person you liked in the beginning."

"Yeah, I know. I'm serious about him, definitely."

"So you've decided? You definitely like him?"

"I definitely like him. I know that. I don't have chances with him, anyways."

"I don't want to be mean, Mae, but he probably doesn't even notice you as more than a friend. I think he hasn't noticed anyone as more than a friend, only because he's focused on his studies more than he is on relationships. And all that intelligence has to come from somewhere."

"Yeah, I know. At this point, I'm just hoping, you know?"

"Yes, I do. I've been through that stage too. And you'll move on to someone else or pass it by." Moni then turned away as Ryan began to hug her and she slowly melted into the hug [a/n: man that sounds weird]. Jasper looked at her from across the table, as he expertly played with a Rubiks cube.

"Whatever it applies to, and however you interpret this, Mae, follow your dreams. If you put your mind and heart to it, you can definitely do it," Jasper said with a thumbs up.

"Yeah, maybe," she replied softly.

✕

more like a filler chapter. 

but this is currently going through my mind right now, i guess. like maybe i'm trying too hard and i should just give up. he hasn't noticed me and he probably never will, at least more than a friend. wait, scratch that. we aren't even friends. i meant acquaintance. i told myself i would stop next year, because this probably won't progress into anything. and i've tried moving on (i've even thought of other people for some time, but like don't take that the wrong way. sometimes you have to move on when there's nothing good left for you to think about.) but i can't and i keep ending up at jasper.

i tell myself that i'll get over him at one point, but then i see him, and then the butterflies come back and so do my feelings. so i definitely can't doubt my feelings.

anyways, just felt like getting that out there.

lots of love,

daze