paper cranes | ✔️

xxxviii.

if only you didn't confuse me so much,

and make my mind more of a mess of things

then i could focus on getting over you

instead of waiting;

instead of waiting for my heart to get broken.

✕  

"Mae, how are you doing?" Mark quietly whispered to her as they sat through their boring English class. She looked at him pointedly. He knew the answer.

He sighed deeply, saying, "Alright, do you want to go for ice cream? With me and Em?" Mae was about to say no, but she saw Em's pleading eyes in front of her, and she nodded like her head was going to fall off. Mark chuckled and grabbed his bag.

"Alright, I'll meet you there then. Be careful on the drive, okay Mae?" he asked as they left the classroom. 

Class today, for Mae, was hectic. There was just so much to do, and homework was piling up, there were so many exams next week—would she even have time to study?—and her stress was building up. To top it off, Jasper started showing hanging out more with Minhee. Mae was jealous of course, because that's the guy she likes hanging out with her best friend, but he was hardly talking to her and she didn't only lose him as a possible significant other, but also as a friend. That's at least how she felt. 

If I wasn't underage, I would probably drown all my sorrows in some vodka right now, she thought mournfully, starting her car and slamming her head against the steering wheel. Her phone suddenly rang, and she jumped up, startled. Her hands fumbled with her phone from her nervousness and after a few minutes she succeeded.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Where are you Mae? Em and I have been waiting."

"I'll be there. I just got caught up with Ms. P. Talking to her about exams and whatnot. I'm in my car now, so I'll be there soon," she said, hoping her voice wasn't cracking.

"...alright, sure. Em and I are ordering large sundaes. Should I get you something too? That way it'll be there by the time you get here."

"Sure. 'Kay, I'm gonna hang up now. See ya," Mae replied, sighing. She knew Mark could see right through her. It was obvious she was crying, but if he picked up on it, he never said anything. 

Within minutes, Mae reached the small shop, closing the door with a small jingle. Soft music played on the speakers, and she easily spotted Em and Mark sitting in a nearby booth. Em was laughing about something that Mark said, as she put her hair behind her ears and looked at him intensely. Mae grinned, thinking about how they would be a cute couple. Mark suddenly looked up and they made eye contact, and Mae sidled into the pink and white booth, taking a seat next to Mark, who was sharing a strawberry sundae with Emily.

"Here's your mint chocolate chip. I took a few bites, hope you don't mind," Mark said as he pushed a large green sundae towards her. She shook her head and thanked him, and considered taking a bite, but she just took a deep breath and began.

"Alright Mae, go slowly okay? We're here for you," Em said, patting and holding Mae's hands as she tried not to cry, thinking about Jasper and Minhee. 

"I know it's high school, I know that it's not expected for me to have a relationship right now...but I don't know how to describe it. Seeing them with each other kills me on the inside even though Jasper probably really hasn't admitted to himself that he's basically in love with Minhee. I don't know like I thought it would be okay and maybe I'm making a big deal out of it. Is it weird that I'm becoming insecure about it?"