But Who Would You Live For?

Selling Your Hair

Joshua:

"Sometimes I just stare at the ceiling in the dark and let my mind play tricks on me." Tyler's quiet voice admitted.

"What kind of tricks?" I asked immediately.

Sometimes it was hard to keep up with Tyler's train of thought. He jumped from subject to subject without even trying to connect them. And I needed to understand what he was talking about. So I asked as many questions as possible without annoying him. Not that Tyler was annoyed easily. He wasn't. He was always so patient when explaining things to me.

"I don't know." I heard him sigh. "If you stare at nothing for long enough, your mind will let you see whatever you want."

"What do you see now?"

"You."

The singular word sent my stomach lurching. I didn't bother hiding my idiot grin as I cradled the phone to my chest. Turning my head so that my face was pressed into the pillow, I let myself scream. Tyler was so good at making me feel good without even trying.

I took a few measured breaths before lifting the phone back to my ear. Tyler's breathing was all to be heard in the dark room. I wonder if he knew how much his response meant to me. Would it be weird to tell him I think of him in the dark too? His face. His words. His voice.

"This rain is ridiculous." Tyler broke the silence.

"Yeah, I know." So much for getting the chance to say it back.

"Do you ever stand at the window and watch the raindrops race to the bottom of the glass?"

"Yeah."

"I'm doing it now." He laughed self consciously.

I rushed from my spot on the bed to stand in front of the window. The curtains were covering it so I pulled them back. Watching the dozens of raindrops spatter against the glass.

"Me too."

"Is yours winning?"

My eyes focused on the largest one in the middle. As soon as they did, the wind blew. Sending my raindrop sliding to the left.

"No."

"Mine either." He laughed again. "We can be losers together."

"You could never be a loser."

"The higher you keep rising that pedestal, the harder I'm going to fall."

I smiled at the poetic wording. "You make me raise it. Everyday you prove yourself to be greater than the last."

"Is my mom paying you to say this?"

It was my turn to laugh. "No. But would she? Because I need another job."

"I don't want you to get a second job."

"Why?"

"You won't have time for me if you're always working. Who else could I call and text all day?"

"I don't know." I muffled a yawn. A quick glance at the clock on my nightstand told me it was almost three in the morning. "Who did you talk with before we met?"

"No one." His answer was automatic. "I was waiting for you."

I was a grown man. There was no reason why I should be blushing like a school girl every time Tyler said something nice to me. I leaned forward to press the heated skin of my forehead against the cool glass.

"Shut up." The words came out as a breathy whisper.

"It's true." He laughed.