But Who Would You Live For?

In The Morning

Josh:

Someone was whistling. The breathy sound stirred me from my already light sleep. The amount of energy it took for me to open my eyes was embarrassing. And even when I did, everything was fuzzy. My eyes faded over with the sleep it was begging to return to. Who was I to deny my body the sleep it deserved? I let my eyes flutter shut again. Inhaling through my nose as I snuggled deeper into the pillow. Only to have them snap open again when the breathy whistling deepened.

This time I spun as carefully as I could in the small space the bunk allotted. To avoid waking anyone else with the sound my ungraceful fall would emit. The tip of my nose brushed against softer, smoother skin. I drew back for a better look. To allow my eyes to focus in the dark.

Debbie's face came to view when my vision cleared completely. Even in the early hours of the morning, when she wasn't even awake, she was impossibly beautiful. Her hair was a splayed mess against the pillow. Loose strands trickling down her face. There was a smear of bright lipstick on the crease of my pillow -our pillow- just where her lips met the fabric.

Best of all, she was warm. Each inch where our bodies met was an inch where I was warmer than I ever remembered being. I snuggled closer to her. A part of me ached to kiss her awake but I held off. What if she wasn't in the mood for sweet embraces? I couldn't very well ask her permission while she was asleep. It wouldn't be right. I could wait until she decided to wake up on her own. And then if she wanted to kiss me- and I hoped that she did- she would. But for now, a simple forehead kiss would suffice.

My body groaned in protest when I managed to rip myself from the mattress. The regret of getting up was short lived because my stomach was the next to groan. Last I checked, there was an unopened box of Apple Jacks cereal in the cupboard. My mouth watered at the idea of finishing the entire thing on my own. Tour was weird like that. Your body stopped craving warm, home cooked meals when it realized how scarce they were on the road. Suddenly you were excited to eat a box of cereal as a meal. Though, to be fair, I was always excited to eat a box of cereal. Because cereal is freaking awesome.

A quick glance to the side showed me Tyler was no longer in bed. My footsteps sped up to reach the front of the bus quickly. From what I could remember of last night, I was a horrible friend to him. Tyler and I never argued. At least not over stupid things like that. Admittedly, I was a little bit under the influence and that made me more susceptible to arguing. But I wasn't a complete imbecile. I knew he owed me an apology as well. Once those were out of the way, we could make up and things would be better. I'd feel like less of an idiot for upsetting my best friend.

All rational thoughts of reconciliation left my mind when I was greeted with the sight of Tyler and Jenna sprawled out on our couch. Sucking each other's faces like it was the last thing they would be able to do. For a second I was able to convince myself that I was dreaming. It wouldn't be the first time my mind tortured me with these type of images. But the noises, the giggles, the details of their movements were too precise to be conjured up with only my sub conscious. I don't know how long I stood there watching them. Wringing my hands. I am sure it was an inappropriate amount of time though. Not that they would care. Not that they even noticed.

Finally, I forced myself to speak, "Jenna?" Even if only to make them stop.

It worked. She pulled away. Laughing when Tyler's mouth attempted to follow her. "Hi, Josh!" Her expression was one of genuine excitement. We were friend after all. I probably would have been more excited to see her if she weren't still half on top of my best friend.

"You weren't supposed to join us for another two weeks."

"I know." She sighed. Rolling her eyes in a way that couldn't be misinterpreted as rude. "Tyler just missed me so much." She pinched at his cheek and he swatted her hand half heartedly. "I missed him too. I just couldn't wait eleven more days."