But Who Would You Live For?

Two Halves Of My Heart

Joshua:

"Honey, I'm home." I heard Debby call through the screen of the front door.

I glanced over at her from my spot on the couch and saw her walking into the house with two paper bags full of what I'm assuming was groceries. I jumped up from my place on the sofa to help her. She allowed me to pull both the bags from her hands. She'd carried them into the house the least I could do was walk them a few feet into the kitchen. I was rewarded with a kiss for my efforts.

"What is all this?" I began leafing through the bags as soon as I sat them down on the table. "You were supposed to just get the milk for the cereal."

"I know. I know." She pulled a bag of marshmellows up. "But I saw these and remembered how much you love them"

"I do love marshmellows." I grinned.

She sat them on the table and dug into the bag again. This time pulling out an extra large bag of Doritos. "These were on sale. I know how much you love them."

"This is also true." I graciously took the bag as she handed it to me. "Is this entire bag just full of stuff for me?"

"Well, actually yes." She admitted. "An annoying thing about being so in love with you is that I'm always thinking about you." Her sigh was dramatic. "I can't see anything without thinking hmm I wonder if Josh would like that. It's a hard life to live really."

"Oh, poor baby." I pushed the bag aside. Debby smirked as I approached her. "Come to daddy."

She let herself slump into my arms. "You don't want to see what else is in the bag?"

"No." I ran my hand through her messy hair. "I'm good."

Debby pouted. "But it's a bag full of stuff that you love."

"You're a bag full of stuff that I love."

Her nose scrunched up. "I should punch you in the head for calling me a bag full of stuff."

"But you're not going to." I challenged.

"Oh, yeah?" Her head tilted up so she could stare into my eyes. "And why is that?"

"Because you'd rather kiss me?"

"I would."

She lifted onto the tips of her toes to connect our lips. My hands slid from the middle of her back to the base of her spine. She curved into my touch like second nature. It was still fascinating to me how perfectly her mouth slanted over mine. Like it was made for that specific purpose. Debby's tongue slid out to trace the outline of my bottom lip. I sucked it into my mouth without thinking about it. I didn't need to think about anything when I was kissing my girlfriend. Our movements were flawlessly in sync as if they were practiced ahead of time. Her fingers carded through my hair and I yanked her closer like a string had been pulled. Pressing her against myself hard enough to make it difficult to breathe. Debby moaned into my mouth and I swallowed the sound. Taking it in and keeping it like a gift.

"Bed or couch?" I tried to speak around her tongue.

"Table." She commanded because Debby didn't like when her choices were limited.

"Fuck it."

I didn't mind the plan C at all. My hands slid around to grip her thighs. Hoisting her up and balancing her on the table took more effort than I thought it would. And then my girlfriend was pulling away. I chased her mouth with desperation.

"Isn't that you phone?"

I went for her mouth again only for her to move. 

"What?" I groaned in frustration.

She laughed. "Your phone is ringing."

"So?" How was I supposed to hear that with all the blood rushing in my ears?

"So weren't you waiting on that call from your manager?"

"A voicemail can be left."

"Josh." She pushed me away for the third time.

"Fine." I stepped back. "But now you're not getting any tonight."

Her eyes rolled playfully. "Hurry up and get the phone and I'll feed Domino." The kitten came dashing into the kitchen when her name was called. I'd never really been a fan of cats. But Debby loved them so there was no reason not to get one.

I slow jogged back to the couch just as my phone stopped ringing. I picked it up and there was a notification for a missed call. But it wasn't from my manager. Tyler's name was on the screen. I did the mental math and realized that it'd been two weeks since I saw my best friend. Four days since we even spoke. Before I could call him back his name was flashing on the screen again. I slid to answer it immediately.

"Hey, Tyler."

"Josh!" He gushed. "My main man. What's up? Are you busy?"

I glanced into the kitchen where Debby was pouring food into Domino's bowl. "No."

"Great. Are you free to hang out today?"

"Of course." I couldn't stop the smile tht spread across my face. "When?"

"Well, I'm parked in front of your house so now would be cool."

I let the phone drop onto the couch before he could get another sentence in. I twisted around to the open door. Sure enough Tyler's car was parked in front of the house. It took a full two seconds for me to burst into the yard. Tyler was barely out of his car when I bulldozed into him. I both felt and heard the wind being knocked out of him. Once his balance returned, he retaliated with a hug just as powerful as mine.

"Oh my goodness I missed you!" Tyler pulled out of the hug slowly. Trailing his hands from my shoulders, down my arms, pausing at my wrist before letting me go.

"I missed you more." I beamed.

"I'm standing in front of you and I still miss you."

"You win. So what's up? What's new? Where have you been?"

"I'm geting married."

The smile dropped from my face though I made sure not to frown. "What?"

Tyler squared his shoulders as if he was waiting for a fight. "I just wanted to rip the band-aid off and say it."

The smile was forced back on my face. It wasn't as bright but it was something. "That's not a band-aid, man." I patted his arm. "That's amazing."

This time he intitiated the hug. It was softer, quicker. Unsure. "You're happy?"

My answer was automatic. "If you're happy."

"Of course. I love Jenna. I just thought-"

"You thought my love for you would get in the way of my happiness for you." I finished for him.

Tylers's gaze darted towards the house. Proabably making sure Debby wasn't in hearing distance. "Yeah."

"Tyler," I sighed "I love you enough to want you to be happy with whoever you love more."

His expression became pained. "Josh-"

"It's okay to love Jenna more now, Ty." I didn't mean a word of that. But what kind of friend would I be if I made him feel bad about being engaged to his girlfriend of four years? "She's your life now."

He knew me too well to be convinced. His eyed the door again and whispered "Do you love Debby more than me?"

I drew back. "What?"

"Tyler!" I took an instictive step back when Debby ran up to us. That explained his whispering.  "What are you doing here?"

"Tyler's getting married." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Oh my God!" She pulled him into a hug. It might have been the first time they were that close. "Where is Jenna? I need to hug her."

"She's home." He exited the embrace awkwardly. "Telling her family."

"Have you told your family?" She wondered.

Tyler's eyes met mine. "I'm doing that now."