But Who Would You Live For?

I'm Trying To Be So Cool

Tyler:

Josh was laid across my lap. My knees were pressing into his back but he didn't mind. He never did. He was humming along to a song that I didn't recognize. One of my hands was resting on top of his head. My fingers playing in the long strands. The other hand was holding my phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Checking out some local reviews for our last show."

"Are they good?"

"Some of them."

"Don't listen to the bad ones." He reached up to grab my hand that was tangled in his hair. He pulled it down his face. Stopping it at his mouth. I closed my eyes to the feeling of his lips pressing against my palm. "They're idiots."

"You're right." I nodded. But I couldn't stop myself from scrolling through the negativity.

"If I'm right, then why are you still looking at it?"

"I'm not."

Before I knew what was happening, he was snatching the phone out of my hand. I lunged to retrieve it but Josh was faster. He rolled from my lap and off the bed.

"You searched Twenty One Pilots suck?" His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at the screen. "Why would you do that?"

"I just wanted to see what people who weren't fans had to say."

"You wanted to beat yourself up." He sat the phone down. "I've told you about that."

I looked away. "I know."

"Tyler." He sighed, walking back over to where I was sitting. "I don't want you reading that. You take it too hard."

"I'm not going to let a bunch of mean strangers control how I feel about our music." I scoffed.

"No." He pulled at the buttons on my shirt. "But you will let it control how you feel about yourself." I rolled my eyes. "You can try to play all cool with me, Tyler Joseph. But I know you."

I stared down into Josh's eyes and knew he was right. I couldn't argue when we both knew he knew me better than anyone else in the world. There was no doubt that I would go to sleep thinking about all those bad reviews. I don't know why I even tried hiding my feelings from Josh. It was like I was emotionally see-through. Like he had x-ray vision into my soul.

"I'm going to stop looking up the negative reviews."

"No you're not." He laughed lightly. Calling out my lie. "Just don't do it when I'm not around."

"Why?"

"Because I want to be able to tell you how awesome you are while you're reading a bunch of bad stuff from a bunch of people who don't know you like I do."

"I love you."

Saying those three powerful words had become a habit between the two of us. It slipped from my lips so easily when it came to Josh. Because everything about him reminded me of why I did love him. I was afraid that the more we said it, the less it would mean. But I now realized it meant more to me each time it was spoken.

"You have to love me." Josh poked my nose. "You signed a contract."

I grabbed his finger. Holding it against my skin. "And if I break the contract?"

"Death of course." He shrugged.

"Of course." I nodded.

I let go of Josh's finger to grab his waist. Pulling him as close to me as I could manage without breaking a rib. His nose skimmed my chin. Bringing his lips comfortably close to mine. But not close enough. I pushed my head up to make him tilt his. Before I could gift myself with the feel of his lips, my phone rung. Making both of us turn towards the noise.

"I'll get it." Josh slipped from my hold.

"Who is it?"

He brought it closer to his face. "Jenna." he read the contact name.

My gut reaction was to snatch the phone from his fingers, walk into the other room and talk to her. But that would be rude and raise a bunch of questions I didn't really have answers to yet. He pressed the button to let the call through. Instead of pressing the phone to his face, he handed it to me.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ty!" Her pretty voice sent a gush of warmth through my system. "It's Jenna."

"I know. I have your number saved."

"Oh, right!" She laughed awkwardly. I could just picture the blush on her cheeks.

"So what's up?"

Josh walked away from me to lay down on my bed.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out again. I-I had a lot of fun hanging out with you."

"I had fun hanging out with you too." I watched Josh's facial expressions as I spoke.

"So do you want to hang out now?"

I almost said yes. "I-I actually can't right now. I'm doing something." Josh narrowed his eyes at my words. "Something really important to me."

"Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I wouldn't have interrupted-"

"No, Its okay-"

"I'll just let you get back to what you were doing."

"Thanks."

"Before you hang up, would you maybe like to hang out tomorrow?"

"What time tomorrow?"

"Maybe a late lunch?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you then."

"Bye, Tyler."

"Bye, Jenna."

She ended the call before I could. I placed the phone down. Josh sat up on the edge of the bed. Crossing his arms over his chest. I sat down beside him.

"So you've been hanging out with Jenna." It wasn't really a question but I nodded anyway.

"She stopped by."

"The house?"

Another nod. "It's when you were hanging out with Ashley." he frowned. "I didn't want to be rude."

"And you're going to hang out with her again?" He said it like an accusation.

His tone made me laugh. "Should I not? Am I not allowed other friends?"

"Shut up."

I tried to wrap my arm around his shoulder and he shrugged it off. "Are you- Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?" he repeated in shock. "Are you crazy?"

"Oh my gosh, you are!"

"I'm going to my own room." He tried to stand up but I grabbed him back down. "Let go of me."

"Josh, you don't have to be jealous of Jenna. She's my friend."

"And I'm your friend."

"Oh you are so much more than my friend." I kissed the only part of him I could reach in the awkward position we were in. His jaw. "You're my best friend."

"Goodnight, Ty." He tried to stand again.

"Goodnight? It's 5 in the afternoon." He was still squirming to get free. "Josh, would you stop it? You know you're my favorite person in the whole world. Nobody can or could ever change that."

"How can you say that when you're practically going on a date-"

"It's not a date." I laughed. "Its going to be like hanging out with one of the guys."

"Really?"

"You could come and see for yourself if you want."

He lifted his chin. " Maybe I will."

"Okay then." My arms tightened around him. "Can we stop fighting now?" I batted my eyelashes and Josh laughed. "We'll end the argument with a kiss." My lips puckered.

"You think I can't resist you, don't you?"

My pucker transformed into a pout. "Do you want to resist me?"

"No." He relaxed into my hold.