But Who Would You Live For?

I Could Have Been A Better Man

Tyler:

Josh didn't come back last night. Not that I waited up for his return. I didn't spend the night listening for the sound of the bus door opening. Or footsteps approaching the bed area. I wasn't a big enough idiot to torture myself like that. In fact, I did quite the opposite. I came in, shut off all the lights, and forced myself into a dreamless sleep.

I expected my best friend and Debby to stay out late. Just not all night kind of late. Because that would mean he probably stayed the night with her alone somewhere. At least when they stayed here, I was mostly aware of what they were doing. I could hear most of their playful whispers to each other. The possibilities were endless if they were truly alone. My mind's imagination is worse than anything they could have actually done.

So when I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find the bed across from mine empty. I was even more surprised to hear so many voices on the other side of the curtain separating the sleeping area from the main part of the bus. I immediately recognized Josh's voice. And then. Brendon's. Maybe Joe's. The rest of the voices blended into one another.

I listened closely for a female voice. I knew the other guy's significant others were gone. So that would only leave it to be Debby's. But the longer I listened, the more I realized that no woman was amongst my tour mates in the front. Debby was gone. She'd come in the night and left in the morning like I wished she would have the first few times she visited.

A new excitement coursed through me as I rolled off the bed. I used my phone to check my reflection. Making sure there were no traces of dried drool or anything like that. And then I slid the curtain and joined the rest of the men.

Everyone was there. Patrick was sitting on our couch. Watching the others with amused expressions. Brendon, Pete and Joe were standing near the sink. Laughing about something with Josh, who was leaning over the small counter eating a bowl or cereal. Only Patrick and Dallon acknowledged entrance into the room. Dallon, with the nod of his head. Patrick, with a small smile.

"It is a pretty dark hickey." Brendon smirked. Pulling at the neck of Josh's t-shirt. Exposing more of it.

My eyes zoomed in on the darkening bruises clustering his skin. I bit the inside of my cheek to refrain from blurting something stupid out. Or crying.

"She had to be sucking pretty hard, huh?" Joe elbowed him.

Josh shook his head at them but said nothing.

"So how does it feel?" Pete asked.

"How does what feel?" He stared at the milk puddling in his spoon.

"Popping your cherry." Brendon ruffled his hair.

"Stop it." Josh groaned with fake annoyance. Running his hands in an attempt to fix his hair. Returning his full attention to the colorful food in front of him. "Seriously guys."

"Are you a noise maker?" Brendon teased.

"Did you cry afterwards?" Dallon asked from he couch. They all turned to give him confused looks. He shrugged it away. "I cried after I lost my virginity."

Joe burst out laughing first. Everyone except Patrick and I followed suit.

"My little Joshua." Brendon pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "Growing up so fast."

"It felt like just yesterday when he was sneaking issues of Sport's Illustrated into the bathroom." Pete joked.

Josh chucked along. All reddened cheeks and sly smiled. But never disputing what the guys were accusing him of doing last night. I could feel my blood began to boil the longer I stood there watching. Listening. So the truth was as bad as my imagination could supply.