But Who Would You Live For?

So I Can Say Goodbye

Tyler:

After a month on tour I got used to doing things differently. It became my new normal. Like only eating what didn't require more than a five minute preparation. Using the sink to freshen up when we didn't get a venue with a shower. Wearing the same clothes without the comfort of a washing machine. And making myself as small as possible when I slept so Josh could fit in my bunk.

Which is how I found myself hovering over a bowl of microwave macaroni, my hair dripping from a sink wash, in the same jeans I wore two days ago, with a cramp in my neck from curling into Josh while I slept. But I was fine. It was normal.

Josh woke up a few minutes into my questionable breakfast. Looking more refreshed than he had any right to. He absentmindedly scratched at the hair below his bellybutton. His hand disappeared into his basketball shorts to adjust himself.

The atmosphere on the bus was better now that Jenna and Debby were gone. My girlfriend had a niece to sit and Josh's friend had... a show to film maybe? I had no idea. I was just glad she finally left. I was worried she'd become a part of the tour.

"Hungry?" I held the plastic container towards him.

Josh grimaced but stepped closer. Tilting his head to peek into it. "What is that?"

Using the plastic fork, I swirled it around. The artificial cheese stained the inside as it moved around. I stabbed a few noodles on the edge of the fork. Lifting it to my eyes for closer inspection.

"It's supposed to be macaroni and cheese."

"I highly doubt that's macaroni and cheese."

"Yeah. Me too." I eyed the fork. I'd already eaten Half of it. There was no going back now. And the taste wasn't the worst thing. I slipped the fork into my mouth.

"You're going to get food poison or something." He reached past my head to grab the cereal from the cabinet.

"I am not."

"You are. And we won't be able to open."

"You could still open."

"As if I'd step onto a stage without you."

He rolled his eyes as he poured his cereal into the styrofoam bowl. Filling it past the brim. The mountain of Fruity Pebbles did look more inviting than my meal. But I was tired of cereal. My stomach craved something warm. It was either macaroni or shrimp and noodles in a cup. And I didn't very much trust freeze dried sea food.

"Then maybe you should eat some too. So we can both get sick. That way no one would expect you to perform alone."

"Hard pass." He poured the milk into the bowl.

"Just a taste." I scooped up a forkful. Pointing it at his mouth across the counter. "You might like it."

"Those things aren't meant to be liked. Just scarfed down in desperation."

"You'll get a kiss for every noddle you eat." I waved it slowly. Careful not to drop any.

Josh arched his left eyebrow. Leaning closer to stare at the fork. Counting the noodles in his head. I tried to count them as well but the cheese sauce was making things difficult. One. Two. Three. Four. Fi- was that five? They all seemed to merge together.

Then the fork disappeared into Josh's mouth. His lips slid off of it slowly. Making sure not to leave any behind. I watched the disgust on his face as he chewed the food. Swallowing it down bit by bit. Drama queen.

"Done." He fed himself a spoonful of the cereal to get the taste out of his mouth. He puckered his lips, waiting.

"Fine." My grumbling was done for show. This situation was a win-win for me. I sat the unfinished container on the counter. Moving to stand directly in front of Josh. My lips brushed against his for a second before I pulled back and did it again. And again. And again. And again. "There."